As i watched him get dressed and walk out of the door, i felt my heart breaking into even more smaller pieces, but this time it wasnt because i was hurt, it wasnt because i just found him with Mollie, it was because deep inside my heart i now knew what i had to do. I saw the end of our marriage, and it made my heart ache.
” I’m really glad you gave me a second chance Rosie, because i really love you. I’ll call you later”.. He said as he tried to kiss me on the lips, but didnt manage because i averted my head and gave him the cheek.
Over the following weeks i poured myself onto my work, making sure that i fill my time and every time Nick called i just ignored his calls. Every night i slept in the guest bedroom because i could not bare sleeping in the same bed i used to share with him, and the nights became lonelier as the weeks passed. After a month of avoiding his calls, i decided it was time i sent him the divorce papers, i had filled for the a week after the last time we had sex and stayed with them for so long because i was too scared that once they go out then i will really have to deal with the divorce. As i walked up the stares to our apartment from work i found him sitting by the door reading a newspaper, for a moment i thought about turning back and leaving him there, but before i could decide what to do he turned his head toward me and stared at me.
” Rosie, i have been calling you for more than a month now, and then out of the blue i get these” ? He said holding up the divorce papers. As i looked from the papers to his eyes, i saw that he actually seemed hurt, even surprised.
” Nick you slept with some one else, you had an affair, you thought that was just going to go away and i would forgive you” I asked him all the while wondering why we are having this conversation for the millionth time. The problem with Nick has always been that he believes that he is entitled to whatever it is that he wants, looking at him now i realize he has lost weight, he looks old and defeated, and this makes me wonder if he really is hurt and if he still loves me and then i quickly push the thought away from my mind because i know where it will lead me. I open the door and let him in, then as we sit on the couch across each other he asks ” Our marriage is really over isnt it? “.
I let him know yes, and then tell him that i want to put the apartment for sale, unless he wants to keep it and stay in it.
” Rosie i bought this apartment because you loved it remember” He continues to talk with a sad sideways smile.
” I would like you to keep it and everything else that we had, its my fault that i fucked up our marriage and i hurt you, so please keep it and do as you please with it”
We both stand up at the same time as he prepares to leave and are automatically drawn to each other. As we stand there hugging for what seems like an eternity, i feel tears streaming down my cheeks.
” Good bye Rosie, i will always love you, and i promise ill sign the papers as soon as i can” He kisses me one last time on my cheek. Then goes to walk out of the room
I watch my husband for the last time as he walks out of our apartment and my life and know that i made the right decision, it won’t be easy i know that. The thing with love is, it never is easy, your heart never stops loving someone just because your brain decides to end the relationship. Love always finds you easily, but it is always ten times harder to forget about love. My heart may be broken, but i know i will be able to put it back together one small piece at a time.