Sometimes I think i’m safely in your arms.. I think my world is completely whole.. Happy even.. That I might wake up to see your handsome face.. To feel your soft lips on mine.. Your calloused hands softly caressing my body.. But then reality crashes down over me.. And i realize that the place where my heart used to reside is empty.. I realize you are nowhere to be found, no longer with me.. And I remember you are a million miles away from me.. And I start to miss you all over again..
Sometimes I think i’m fine.. I think my world is completely normal.. Content even.. That I might even be happy one day.. But then reality crashes over me.. And i realize the place where my heart used to reside is empty.. All that is left is a dark void..
There is a million reasons why I should not love him..
Why I should not care..
Why I should not long, crave for him..
For his touch..For his kisses..
For his voice..For his love
Iv tried not feeling anything for him..
I have tried to convince myself to move on..
To forget about him..
Because he has probably forgotten about me now..
Probably moved on to the next girl..
But my heart and soul can’t help it..
He is permanently etched onto my heart..Onto my skin
I breathe through him..
I need him…
I feel a darkness..
A darkness within..
Like dark poisonous vines curving around a dying tree..
Utter and ultimate misery..
Twirls around my slow beating heart..
Swallowing me whole..
Devouring my inner being..
Please don’t leave me.. I’ll be good.. Better than before.. I need you… I crave you.. I will do anything you desire of me.. I will be anyone you need me to be.. I will follow you to the ends of the world.. Just please don’t leave.. Stay with me…
I knew light…
Danced around the light…
Rejoiced in the radiance…
Basked under it’s luminasity…
Until you came around…
And stole my light away…
Consumed it right from beneath me…
Leaving only a shardowy gloom…
Bathing me in your darkness…
I wish I could plug a lovometer into my heart.. Or even place a stethoscope near on my chest… Or simply put your hand on my chest.. Just so you can feel me..
Gage my love.. So you can know how you make me burn.. How my heart aches and breaks when I can’t have you.. So that you know when I tell you I miss you, I need you.. I want you.. What I really mean is I can’t survive without you.. My life is dark with no colors without you.. Know that i’m asking you to show me you need me as much as I do you.. Begging you to give me my heart back.. Because it hurts so bad to have this empty space where it should be..
They see me roar..
They wonder why I soar..
They wonder why I am..
The way that I am..
They question why I live the way I do..
They marvel at my every move..
They look at my being..
My wild hair..
My passionate personality..
My outrageous clothes..
The unexpected actions..
They see my free spirit parading..
The animal within displayed..
I tell them don’t judge me..
Don’t try to change me..
Don’t try to tame me..
I’m a lost cause..
Either fly with me..
Or watch me rise..