A little whisper

She whispers..

Green trees and lilies sprout..

Heart instantly swells

Missing you..

Sometimes I think i’m safely in your arms..
I think my world is completely whole..
Happy even.. 
That I might wake up to see your handsome face..
To feel your soft lips on mine..
Your calloused hands  softly caressing my body..
But then reality crashes down over me..
And i realize that the place where my heart used to reside is empty..
I realize you are nowhere to be found, no longer with me..
And I remember you are a million miles away from me..
And I start to miss you all over again..

Ohh Heart.. Why Him..

There is a million reasons why I should not love him..
Why I should not care..
Why I should not long, crave for him..
For his touch..For his kisses..
For his voice..For his love
Iv tried not feeling anything for him..
I have tried to convince myself to move on..
To forget about him..
Because he has probably forgotten about me now..
Probably moved on to the next girl..
But my heart and soul can’t help it..
He is permanently etched onto my heart..Onto my skin
I breathe through him..
I need him…

Number one….

One day..
One far away day..
one lonely day..

Just one day…

I will finally be someone’s number one..

It might not be today..

It might not be  tomorrow..

Might not even be in the next ten years..

But I have to believe…
I have to hope and pray..

That one day..

Someone will love me enough..
Need me enough…
Adore me enough..

To render me their number one..

Sometimes…

Sometimes I look at your pictures..
Our pictures….
Going through each and every one of them..
I have tried to delete them.. I really have..
But that part of my heart that still belongs to you just won’t let me..
One by one..I explore them..
Investigate them..
Looking at happier times..
Seeing a time when you used to adore me..
To still need me..
To still miss me..
To look at me like I was your whole world..
A time when a day wouldn’t pass without you telling me I was yours..
Sometimes memories of us play in my head..
Over and over like a never ending reel..
Torturing my very being..
Because I know this reel will never be expanded..
Added to with new memories..
Sometimes I try to not think about you..
Because when I do I lose myself in an emotion filled tide..
I disappear into a dark abyss of utter pain..
My soul aches for you..
My heart breaks into a million pieces
My body yearns for your touch..
Sometimes….. Just sometimes…
I wish you still belonged to me…

Swallow Me Whole…

I feel a darkness..
A darkness within..
Surrounding me..
Like dark poisonous vines curving around a dying tree..
Pain..
Utter and ultimate misery..
Twirls around my slow beating heart..
Swallowing me whole..
Devouring my inner being..

No doubt…

I have no doubt sweetheart

That you could be mine
That I could be your forever
That I could make you forget
That I could steal your heart
That I could make you my world

I have no doubt that I could love you fully and completely..
For eternity..
If only you would give me one more night..

Mine..

How I wish to feel your callused hands caressing my soft skin..
Your tongue on my tongue, my neck, my nipple, my entire body..
To breathe the same air as you when you loom above me..
Close enough to ravish my mouth yet so far away..
To feel shivers move down my spine as you growl dirty,sweet nothings in my ear..
To feel the weight of your body as you lower onto me pressing me into the mattress..
The pleasure, pain of being connected to every part of you..
To hear the breathless grunts of you racing to the edge..
The slap of skin against skin in the quietened room..
To bear the ecstasy of going over the edge with you..
Oh love, how I wish you were mine..

Note: My awesome followers i just want to apologize for going AWOL on you all for the last few months. I had some pretty hectic family stuff to deal with but now I am back and i promise i’m back to stay. Thank you for continuing to support me and enjoy my creations. I love you all.

Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..

I’m in a constant fog..

Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..

You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..

Fueling my frantic need for you..

My dependency of you is an ache..

An ache which morphs into a physical pain..

When i’m away from you I can not bare it..

You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..

My core drilled and etched away..

You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..

You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..

Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..

Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..

A feeling of deep and utter loss..

Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..

And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 

I Long For You..

We used to have everything..
I your Cinderella..
You my Prince Charming..

Oh mi amor..

Laying under the night sky..
Counting stars and making love..

Mi corazon…

Embracing blissfully and talking till the sun comes out..
Walking hand in hand and kissing on the streets..

Oh il mio angelo…

Living in our own beautiful, magical world..
Whispering “I love yous”..

My Darling…

Wherever you are..
Dream a little dream of me..
As my mind and heart lingers on you..
Sweet dreams with bitter longings haunt me..

Mon cher…

In a world with out you I am lost..
I wish to feel you with me, on me, around me..