I have a confession .. Anywhere we are… Anytime.. I want to be where ever you are I want to see whatever you see.. To feel Everything you feel.. To swim in your happiness.. To drown in your sadness and misery.. To be part of every adventure.. Every moment.. To be a part of you.. To live in your soul…. To walk around your heart.. I want to know how to love you… How to make you smile.. How to make you cry.. How to make you lose your mind.. How to drive you mad with passion.. How to bring out the beast in you… How to make desire pour out of you.. And pour onto me.. How to make you violent.. I want to know every.. Because I am trapped.. Trapped within myself when you cross my mind..
A slave to a master..
I endure only pain.. Committed to a life of loneliness and despair.. Just a body with an empty soul..
Sometimes… Sometimes I wish I could be your shadow.. To trail behind you like a lost soul trying to catch on to its body.. Just so that I can get a chance….. A fruitless, mindless chance… To simply exist within the same space as you..
Sometimes I feel.
I don’t mean to..
Hell, most times I try not to..
But I can not help it..
When you are near me I feel..
Because you make my world spin a little faster..
Make my dreams seem a little closer..
And then I feel everything..
I feel you deep inside me…
I wish for you to take me..
To make me yours..
Slowly..All day… How ever you want..
But you don’t see me..
Don’t even know I exist..
And it hurts..
It cuts me deep..
Burns like a furnace..
Like you are flaying the skin off my bones..
But my heart doesn’t listen..
When you are around me…
I fall apart…
I can barely breathe…
I still feel too much..
There is a fire burning within my soul
Flamming, burning, destroying
Burning only for your
For your appreciation
For your acceptance
For your caress
I am starved for your look
There is a fire incinerating my insides
Utter desperation coats my heart
I yearn for you to put out the fire
But all you do is give me that bored smirk
As you throw gasoline into the fire
Sometimes I look at your pictures..
Our pictures…. Going through each and every one of them.. I have tried to delete them.. I really have.. But that part of my heart that still belongs to you just won’t let me.. One by one..I explore them.. Investigate them.. Looking at happier times.. Seeing a time when you used to adore me.. To still need me.. To still miss me..
To look at me like I was your whole world.. A time when a day wouldn’t pass without you telling me I was yours.. Sometimes memories of us play in my head.. Over and over like a never ending reel.. Torturing my very being.. Because I know this reel will never be expanded.. Added to with new memories.. Sometimes I try to not think about you.. Because when I do I lose myself in an emotion filled tide.. I disappear into a dark abyss of utter pain.. My soul aches for you.. My heart breaks into a million pieces My body yearns for your touch.. Sometimes….. Just sometimes… I wish you still belonged to me…
Is it possible for your heart to hurt so bad the pain feels physical.. For a heart to actually cry.. For you to feel like there’s a lead weight on your chest… To feel like you have been punched in the chest…. And that your insides are about to rupture and come out through your mouth… To feel like someone thrust their hand down your throat.. And started pulling your soul right from within you…
Please don’t leave me.. I’ll be good.. Better than before.. I need you… I crave you.. I will do anything you desire of me.. I will be anyone you need me to be.. I will follow you to the ends of the world.. Just please don’t leave.. Stay with me…
Iv always had a fear of not being enough.. Not pretty enough.. Not smart enough… Not successful enough.. Not adventurous enough.. Not outgoing enough.. Not lovable enough.. But you.. You make me feel ..
Like a genius.. Like a goddess.. Like the life of the party.. Loved, cherished, adored, cared for, protected, desired.. You make me feel like I am all that you will ever need.. Like I am your whole world.. Like your life would never be complete without me.. Like your life would be without color.. Without light.. You make me feel like I am more than enough.. Like i’m special..One of a kind.. And for that I will love you till my last breath..