Found…

You walk into a crowded room..
You search..scanning the faces in the room..
Until your eyes find mine..
Then time stills..
The world stops spinning..
I stop breathing..
I’m found..
I’m alive..
I’m loved..
And possessed..
And excited..
And nervous..
Like its been forever..
An eternety really..
Forever and a hundred days..
Since I have been discovered..
Since you have looked at me..
Since you have explored me..
But in reality..
It has been but an hour..

found1

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I Want To Fall..

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I want to fall..
To fall so suddenly and so fast..
To fall in love so hard it hurts..
To fall maddenly over the peak I would break..
To stay up all night talking about things..
Or maybe not talking at all..
Just being..
I want to claw across him..
Crawl into him..
To learn his every secret..
His every flaw..
His every thought..
His every story..
His every dream..
I want to be in one of those dreams..
To be all he dreams about..
All he thinks about..
I want to be one of those secrets..
To be all his words..
To be intoxicated by him..
to feel crazed by him..
To be wanton and out of control..
I want to fall so deep..
So deep it makes me want to do everything..
Or maybe nothing..
To be helpless in his love..
To fall and never get up..

Missing you..

Sometimes I think i’m safely in your arms..
I think my world is completely whole..
Happy even.. 
That I might wake up to see your handsome face..
To feel your soft lips on mine..
Your calloused hands  softly caressing my body..
But then reality crashes down over me..
And i realize that the place where my heart used to reside is empty..
I realize you are nowhere to be found, no longer with me..
And I remember you are a million miles away from me..
And I start to miss you all over again..

sleep

Reality…

Sometimes I think i’m fine..
I think my world is completely normal..
Content even.. 
That I might even be happy one day..
But then reality crashes over me..
And i realize the place where my heart used to reside is empty..
All that is left is a dark void..

Number one….

One day..
One far away day..
one lonely day..
Just one day…
I will finally be someone’s number one..
It might not be today..
It might not be  tomorrow..
Might not even be in the next ten years..
But I have to believe…
I have to hope and pray..
That one day..
Someone will love me enough..
Need me enough…
Adore me enough..
To render me their number one..
loveme

Swallow Me Whole…

I feel a darkness..
A darkness within..
Surrounding me..
Like dark poisonous vines curving around a dying tree..
Pain..
Utter and ultimate misery..
Twirls around my slow beating heart..
Swallowing me whole..
Devouring my inner being..

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