She Cast A Spell On Me…

We lie here next to each other

In the dark of the night

As she slip deeper and deeper into nothingness

So peacefully she breathes fluffed up like a light feather

So light, her chest moves up and down

Like a sweet, beautiful angel she rests

Like a flexible gorgeous ballerina her body lounges

Limbs spread out and stretched out

Her skin so soft i cant stop caressing it

Her magnificent radiance astonishes me

She is not like the others

Like a sexy vixen she cast a spell on me

She made me surrender myself to her

How she did it i have no idea

But in no time she made me hers

And hers i shall be for life

Love Throb…

Cant stop thinking about you

As i lay here awake, unable to sleep

It may seem like i’m selfish, or crazy, or living in the past

But I’m always wondering..

Am I the love of your life

Like you are the love of my life

I feel a cold shiver moving down my spine like a cube of ice

Why is it that you don’t want to fight for me to stay

Like a cheetah waiting for its prey

You only want me when i run

Resting here alone waiting for the midnight sun

I wish you ached for me as i do for you

But you live on with no clue

Meeting your mates and going on long dates

Are we to work hard for our love or is it just fate

I feel like you are slipping away from me

Our love hurts so much that it leaves a depth in my heart

Somewhere Over The Rainbow…

somewhere over the rainbow

lies  a paradise filled with joy, happiness and laughter

filled with love, hugs and kisses

Butterflies soar in the air in all colors, blue, yellow, green

Eyes Spackle in the sunshine emitting light and freedom

Flowers bloom.. bees and birds take wing in the picturesque sky

Fountains flow silky with crystal clear waters

People drink in delight glowy, sweet drinks

Somewhere over the rainbow

Time stands still in sheer beauty of the radiance

Goddesses stretch out in pure white robes

Lovers embrace on the fresh green grass

oh how i wish i was over the rainbow

sipping in the utter bliss

Abyss….

I live in padlocked terror

Is it today is it tomorrow

Is it the day that’s going to be my sorrow

Am i being punished for being the creature that i am

Hard times come and drag me down

Down into the deepest scum filled gulf

In a state of abyss here i slouch

slain in my journey to survival

My soul tumbles into the deep void

Waiting for the ogres and trolls to come 

To come and gather my soulless bag of severed carcass

Forever And A Day

I want you to be my full time admirer

Will you please stay with me.

Lets run away to paradise

When I’m with you our hearts beat as one

Every time you walk out of the door i long for you

I ache for your touch

For you sweet lingering kisses

For your caressing searching look

All i know is that we are the perfect match

We fit together because we were made for each other

If i asked you to love me forever would you agree

Because i will love you forever and a day..

Short Story..Broken… Part 5

As i watched him get dressed and walk out of the door, i felt my heart breaking into even more smaller pieces, but this time it wasnt because i was hurt, it wasnt because i just found him with Mollie, it was because deep inside my heart i now knew what i had to do. I saw the end of our marriage, and it made my heart ache.

” I’m really glad you gave me a second chance Rosie, because i really love you. I’ll call you later”.. He said as he tried to kiss me on the lips, but didnt manage because i averted my head and gave him the cheek.

 Over the following weeks i poured myself onto my work, making sure that i fill my time and every time Nick called i just ignored his calls. Every night i slept in the guest bedroom because i could not bare sleeping in the same bed i used to share with him, and the nights became lonelier as the weeks passed.  After a month of avoiding his calls, i decided it was time i sent him the divorce papers, i had filled for the a week after the last time we had sex and stayed with them for so long because i was too scared that once they go out then i will really have to deal with the divorce. As i walked up the stares to our apartment from work i found him sitting by the door reading a newspaper, for a moment i thought about turning back and leaving him there, but before i could decide what to do he turned his head toward me and stared at me.

” Rosie, i have been calling you for more than a month now, and then out of the blue i get these” ? He said holding up the divorce papers. As i looked from the papers to his eyes, i saw that he actually seemed hurt, even surprised.

” Nick you slept with some one else, you had an affair, you thought that was just going to go away and i would forgive you” I asked him all the while wondering why we are having this conversation for the millionth time. The problem with Nick has always been that he believes that he is entitled to whatever it is that he wants, looking at him now i realize he has lost weight, he looks old and defeated, and this makes me wonder if he really is hurt and if he still loves me and then i quickly push the thought away from my mind because i know where it will lead me. I open the door and let him in, then as we sit on the couch across each other he asks ” Our marriage is really over isnt it? “.

I let him know yes, and then tell him that i want to put the apartment for sale, unless he wants to keep it and stay in it.

” Rosie i bought this apartment because you loved it remember” He continues to talk with a sad sideways smile.

” I would like you to keep it and everything else that we had, its my fault that i fucked up our marriage and i hurt you, so please keep it and do as you please with it”

 We both stand up at the same time as he prepares to leave and are automatically drawn to each other. As we stand there hugging for what seems like an eternity, i feel tears streaming down my cheeks.

” Good bye Rosie, i will always love you, and i promise ill sign the papers as soon as i can” He kisses me one last time on my cheek. Then goes to walk out of the room

I watch  my husband for the last time as he walks out of our apartment and my life and know that i made the right decision, it won’t be easy i know that. The thing with love is, it never is easy, your heart never stops loving someone just because your brain decides to end the relationship. Love always finds you easily, but it is always ten times harder to forget about love. My heart may be broken, but i know i will be able to put it back together one small piece at a time.

Endless Love

I now serve my heart on a silver platter to you

I may have not known what i was doing when we met

Or even if i was doing it right

But the one thing i was sure about was that ours is  love that was destined

Time has designed and waited for our love to be born and to mature

The feel of you by my side is exactly as it should be

Fresh, new, intoxicating with a thrill of danger yet so excitingly natural

The flow of your words is music to my ears

Like a flock of beautifully swaying birds singing melodies for us and us alone

This world is yet to see what our love will develop

But the day shall come that songstresses and poets will write about us

They will write of how we used to take long walks along the shore

Of how i used to tell you all about my day

Even if it was not interesting you still listened as if it was the last  and most important thing in this world

Of  how we fought and jumped huddles just to get a small glimpse of each other

Sweetheart can’t you see, they will tell of our undying and everlasting love..

Short Story..Broken..Part 4..

I watch him leave the house and I know where he is going, I know he is going to his mistress. How glad he must be that I don’t want him in the house, that I found him with her, now he can do what he wants without having the pressure of hiding it from me, now he can go continue his night of pleasure with her. I walk to the bathroom to prepare a bath, but when I look around the beautiful ceramic surroundings, I remember that they just took a shower together right in here, which is probably not the first time. I wish I could hate him so much, but I simply cannot, it is a man’s nature to cheat is it not, frankly I’m shocked it took him this long. I walk to the guest room and prepare a hot, long relaxing bubble bath, then I sink myself into the hot water and tears finally start streaming down my face. It has been a very long draining day, and now that I’m finally relaxed and alone with my thoughts, I completely break down and I sob for hours and hours until I’m all cried out on my bed alone..

I wake up at five am and just for a moment before I open my eyes I think it was all a bad dream, a horrible nightmare brought by my fear of losing Nick, but my hope is deadly crushed by the sight of the guest room and reality is set deep down in my heart. I spend the following days in a haze of confusion, tears and horrid sadness which hurts physically, tipsy because of all the wine i have been drinking by myself the whole week. After a week of wallowing in pity, sadness,anger and bewilderment, I realize how dirty the house is and i start cleaning everything and this hefty task helps clear my mind. After hours and hours of cleaning, i make something to eat and as i am in the mist of it i hear a heavy knock on the door. With a heavy sigh, i open the door and see Nick standing there with roses and a big teddy bear. The first this that comes to my mind is ” is he freaken insane, thinking that sleeping with another girl can be fixed with flowers and a stuffed bear”!

” Hi Rosie, can i come in? “.. he says with a long face and one of the sexy smirks he used to give me, which is totally just makes me even more furious with him.

“No. What do you want?”.. I tell him with a serious face. He waltz in anyway slightly pushing me aside and just stands there staring at me.

After what feels like decades of tension filled silence, he finally babbles ” Rosie i’m really sorry about what happened, i don’t know what got in me, i was just looking for something new, and i know that’s not an excuse, but i really love you and these last few days have been like hell to me. Its over with me and….. and i’m not in love with her, i love you, please forgive me and take me back.

As i’m looking at his face with tears already streaming down his rosy pink cheeks, i feel a stab of pain mixed with anger and love for him, we get into a rowdy heated argument and once again i start throwing whatever it is that i can get my hands on. With in the blink of an eye he grabbed me in his strong arms and drew me towards him pushing his lips onto mine. I fight him off and even bite him which just makes him kiss me harder as i feel his rigidness poking me in my tummy, after seconds of putting up a struggle i submit into his familiar soft lips and we kiss severely for an obscene amount of time, peeling each other’s clothes as time continues. He kisses my ruffled hair, my cheeks, the nape of my neck and back to my lips again. He then stops, i stop,panting and looking me in the eyes with a questioning look in his eyes, then starts nibbling on my nipples. I want him and i know he wants me. He grabs my ass and lifts me onto his hardness and starts thrusting and panting.

“Ooh Rosie i missed you so much, is it good for you baby? i’m so close” he says, panting and breathing hard.

As i watch him moving and grunting i start feeling sick to my stomach because i just realize that the last time he had sex it was with someone else. Suddenly everything has changed,everything is different, i feel nothing but hate and disgust for him and i cant bear to look at his face.

Next and last part coming soon…

Short Story… Broken.. Part 3.

Nick

The worst thing that I have been dreading and have been avoiding for what feels like ages just happened. I wasn’t expecting her home for at least one more week, her walking in on Mollie and I, is terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’ve fallen in love with Mollie, but I still care a great deal for Rosie, she has been as supportive and loving as a wife could possibly ever be, but things had started getting a bit too wearily routine and boring and for my liking and when I met Mollie I thought wow!!. She was young, exciting, gorgeous, legs that looked like they could go on forever, perky huge breats, and just everything that my typical life didn’t consist of. The most incredible thing was that she actually liked me, not because we were married or because she had to, but just liked me for myself, she made me feel young, attractive and as wild as a panther. The first time I saw her was at the gym, at first it was nothing more than a little harmless flirting, and just knowing that I’ll see her at the gym at the end of my very long and stressful day made me blissfully teenage puppy love happy. And I guess that is about the time that I started to change a bit towards Rosie, because the rest of my mind was filled with the gorgeous young lawyer. One night after the gym Mollie came to me and asked me if I would like to go and get some coffee or dinner, “as just friends” she said. I agreed to tag along and I believe that was the first day which led to this very day right now.

“Going to have a bite with the boys, be back late, don’t wait up. Love ya”,was a quick scribble of a text I sent Rosie as I went to have dinner with Mollie. Time flew by on our “friends date” and by the time I got back home it was already 2 am. That was the beginning of our affair, we rented lavish rooms in beautiful hotels, we met at my office (of course during lunch or after office hours, when I was sure that no one was there), we met at her chic apartment and anywhere else where we could rip our clothes off and make sweet wild love. Our lust for each other even caused us to meet in my house, which is the reason why now Rosie is staring at me with her big teary angry eyes.

“I don’t know” I say. Moving towards her, deciding otherwise when I see the murderous look in her eyes.

“I still love you very much, it’s just that our life has become such a routine, and she makes me feel young,attractive and alive” As I am trying to explain my cheating, I realize that even to me this is not a good reason to betray my wife. I truly have no clue why I cheated, other than the fact that Mollie is stunning and my relationship with her is exciting, adventurous and fresh. But of course I cannot say this to Rosie, it takes two to make a relationship work, and it did not give me the right to cheat just because I felt bored.

She stares at me for a while longer and then sits on the pretty red love couch next to the window with her head slumped in. All at once she looked very vulnerable, crushed and in deep sorrow,

“Do you love her?” she asks with a final sigh with her whole body as if she has given up all hope and is tired of even talking.

“I don’t know how I feel, but I know I still love you” I answer with a doubt in my voice that I could not shake. As we sit on the couches opposite each other, I realize now how very much I messed up, how I ruined things in our relationship, I realize how much I love Rosie, but sadly now it’s too late. We decide it would be best if I didn’t spend the night in the house tonight, so as I leave, to go and spend the night at my friend Nate’s apartment, she looks at me with a mixed look of utter disgust, hate, disappointment and sadness which made my heart feel like it had been cut to pieces by that one look.

To be continued…

Short Story.. Broken.. Part 2

I grabbed her by her hair and banged her head against the door. I never thought I could do anything so violent and crazy, but love, jealousy and anger can make a person do unbelievable things. It was a huge row between my husband’s” naked girl” as I pulled, bit, kicked and hit her with anything I could lay my hands on, by the time my husband managed to pull me off the slut I had managed to scar her for life. She was crying like a new born baby and the tears were mixing with blood on her not so pretty face, she managed to crawl to her clothes and then limped as quickly as her wounds could allow her out of the bedroom. I stood there feeling disgusted as I starred at Nick. My worst nightmare had just come true in my very bed, in my house and it was gut wrenching.

I still remember the day he proposed. We got to his apartment and he had prepared a beautiful candle light dinner, very intimate and romantic on the patio, he was like my knight in shining amour whisking me away to the throne of his horse only his horse was the beautifully lit patio. The night was wonderful as we were both still high on adrenalin because the rest of our working lives was stretched out in front of us, when the time for dessert came he gave me a sheepish naughty smile as he handed me the slice of strawberry cake, (my favorite) and as I took a big bite I suddenly felt something hard in my mouth, something hard and round, when I spit it out I saw the most amazing beautiful ring with a beautifully cut pink diamond. It was the most exquisite thing I had ever laid my eyes on, I could hardly breathe as I was choked by tears of jolliness and shock. He got down on one knee, very old fashioned I know, but as they say, old is gold. He got down on one knee and recited the most emotional poem that still to this day I have ever heard.

You are the sunshine of my life

From the day I saw you I knew

I knew I never want to let you go

You make me happy like I’ve never been

You turn the worst days into the best

Even birds cannot sing to your unimaginable beauty

I know I want to spend the rest of days with you

I want to spend eternity with you

Will you make me the happiest man to ever be born

Will you marry me..

Now as I look at him in his towel looking guilty, I wonder where that loving, caring, honest man went.

“I’m so sorry Rosie, I didn’t want you to find out like this, I didn’t know you where coming home this soon, I’m really very sorry”. He babbles on as I keep throwing various beautiful things that we bought together during our happier times together. So he is not apologizing because he is cheating on me, he is apologizing for being caught!! Typical men.

When I finally get physically and emotionally drained, I just stare at him waiting for an explanation, so naturally I ask him a question that I think many, many women in the same situation as mine have asked their good for nothing cheating men.

“Why”? such a simple question which could end up breaking up families, causing siblings to never talk and making friends to hate each other for life.

To be continued