I sit here watching you Looking at your face I suddenly realize You are not so handsome after all
I sit here listening to you speak Listening but not really hearing you Then I realize Your words aren’t so sweet after all
I sit here seeing you move Watching your hands And realize suddenly Your touch isn’t so soft and affectionate after all
I sit here peering at you gazing deep into your eyes And I realize suddenly Your eyes aren’t so deep and loving after all
I sit here wondering Maybe, just maybe, you are not it Maybe you are not my soul mate Maybe I’m not in love with you after all
I sit here saddened by a thought A thought I’m having for the first time since we met A thought sending shocks through my being A thought that maybe I just might have to break your heart And in turn break my own heart
More and more my head rules my life.. I stay alive in my own head.. Thinking…Wondering… Stressing Imagining..Fantasizing.. Shutting myself out from the world.. The disappointment around me.. The desolation of being me.. The pain of reality..
More and more I live in my own head.. My happy place.. My solace of peace.. Reality and fantasy merging into one.. More and more I vanish Evaporating into nothingness.. And more and more I do not want to come back..