light

Even in the darkest of day..
Even in the gloomiest of nights..
Even in the shoddiest of seasons..
Your smile is all I need..
To light up my soul..

And then You disappeared

I thought we were friends
I thought I could trust you
I thought you understood me
I thought u knew me
I thought you heard me
I thought you saw me for me
And then you touched me
Then you kissed me
Then you held me close
Then you lay in my arms
Lay in between my legs
Then you told me I was sexy
Then you told me I could be yours..
If only for a moment in time..
And then you had me..
Tasted me.. Devoured me..
Going so deep I didn’t know where you ended or where I began..
And once you had all of me..
You said nothing would change..

And then you disappeared..

My Heart

My heart hurts..
My head lays heavy..
My chest feels empty..
My hands shake..
My lungs cant draw breath..

My eyes stay wet..
Is this what heart break is..

More

She gives him all her being
He takes and gives nothing
She gives him more

My First Heart Break

They say a mother’s love is all encompassing
A mother’s love is power
A mother’s love gives sustenance
A mother’s love heals wounds
A mother’s love embraces the heart and soul

She birthed me
She raised me
She fed me
She loved me
But never as much as she did my kin

She birthed her before me
She put her on a pedestal
She nourished her
Mind body and soul
She adored her
More than she ever did me

They say a mother’s love is all encompassing
But my mother’s love is fickle and conditional


A mother’s love gives power
But my mother’s love makes me weak and frail


A mother’s love gives sustenance
But my mother’s love leaves me yearning and famished


A mother’s love heals all wounds
But my mother’s love breaks me and creates deep gashes


A mother’s love embraces your heart and soul
But my mother’s love shatters my heart and cracks open my soul



Image from an unknown artist

A single thought

I sit here watching you
Looking at your face
I suddenly realize
You are not so handsome after all

I sit here listening to you speak
Listening but not really hearing you
Then I realize
Your words aren’t so sweet after all

I sit here seeing you move
Watching your hands
And realize suddenly
Your touch isn’t so soft and affectionate after all

I sit here peering at you
gazing deep into your eyes
And I realize suddenly
Your eyes aren’t so deep and loving after all

I sit here wondering
Maybe, just maybe, you are not it
Maybe you are not my soul mate
Maybe I’m not in love with you after all

I sit here saddened by a thought
A thought I’m having for the first time since we met
A thought sending shocks through my being
A thought that maybe
 I just might have to break your heart
And in turn break my own heart

Speak

giphy

My soul speaks to you…
Your ego speaks to me..
You look into my eyes and you see unfathomable love..
I look into your eyes and all I see is cold lust…
You search my heart and all you find is longing..
I search your heart and all I find is emptiness…
You touch my body and you want to do like you did a hundred before me..
I touch your body and I want yours to be the only body I touch..
You need someone there to make you feel good about yourself..
I need someone there to love and complete me…
You open your mouth and all that flows out is vanity and lies..
I open my mouth and all that flows out is endless honesty..
You need to leave but you won’t because you are addicted to the sex…
I need to leave but I won’t because I am addicted to the thought of you loving me..
My lips speak to you and all you want to do is have a taste…
Your lips speak and all I want to do is be your girl for eternity…
I speak to you and all that comes out is question after question..
You speak to me and not a single answer makes an appearance..
I cant get enough of your sweet meaningless words…
You cant get enough of my soft touch and calming voice..
You spin your web of lies and trap me in..
I spin my web of naivety and hope and try to trap you…
We are forever stuck in a place that neither of us can escape…

Reasons..

sexy

You are the reason I draw breathes
The reason I open my eyes
The reason my heart beats a little too fast
The reason I can smell the blossoms
The reason I hear birds chip in the morning
The reason I smile
The reason my lips tingle with just a slight touch from yours
The reason my spine curves with just a stroke of your finger
You are the reason my body lights up with just a glance from your mesmerizing eyes
The reason my toes curl up in ecstasy every time I hear your deep baritone
You are the reason
My reason for everything