Paranoia….

Swallows me whole and leaves me fetal 

Paranoia

Twirls me up in a tornado of emotions

Paranoia

Crawls through my throat and rips my insides inside out

Paranoia

Infects me with queasiness and tears me apart

Paranoia

Sets me on a wild goose chase searching for my soul

Paranoia

Makes me want to cleave my eyes out because i dont want to witness my demise

Paranoia

Is it all in my mind or does the horror exist??

Abyss….

I live in padlocked terror

Is it today is it tomorrow

Is it the day that’s going to be my sorrow

Am i being punished for being the creature that i am

Hard times come and drag me down

Down into the deepest scum filled gulf

In a state of abyss here i slouch

slain in my journey to survival

My soul tumbles into the deep void

Waiting for the ogres and trolls to come 

To come and gather my soulless bag of severed carcass

Tales Of A Traded Little Girl..finale

As she sprinted across the hard  pavement barefoot

Her sun deprived skin greatly soaking in all the blazing heat

She could hear all the yelling and screaming coming from the house

This made her run  faster than her small legs could take her

Before she knew it she was in the bustling streets 

Rushing past the busy morning workers on their daily routine

Not even noticing a broken little girl hobbling past them

Suddenly she crashed onto a young woman with a baby

Dropped on her knees and broke down into long awaited tears

Letting out all the ache,terror,fatigue and delight of freedom out

The woman, not knowing what to do, put her baby in the stroller,wrapped her in a tight embrace and cradled her small body

She wept for what seemed line an eternity until only small shivers of aftershock ran through her body

Knowing that in this woman’s arms she had found refuge

As she rested her head on the woman’s soft bosoms she knew that she had found a home

And from that day on the two of them set out to destroy the men who tortured her

The woman vowed that she would go to the ends of the world if that’s what it took, to make them pay for breaking her precious little girl’s soul

Tales Of A Traded Little Girl… Part 3

As she crouched behind the door 

Waiting for the sun to rise 

Waiting for the routine dulling of the senses

The adrenalin running through her veins

She could already taste the trepidation with in her

The door slammed open and just as the ugly scarface walked in the room

She thrust her knee onto his crotch

As he dropped onto a fatal position she grabbed his gun and flew past him

 Passing the other rooms and hearing the revolting moans of men

Knowing very well what the other girls in the room were enduring

She could not wait to be out of the house of torture

Ahead of her was a big red door, and just as she was about to reach it

A big creepy man stood in front of it, grinning with teeth as yellow as corn

She came to a  rigid halt,dread and anxiety consuming her

She looked all around her for an escape route, then suddenly remembered she had a gun at hand

She slowly lifted it up aiming towards the man as he stride slowly towards her

Then she suddenly started running on the opposite direction were she saw light coming in from the only exposed window

As she got closer and closer to the window she started shooting

With the creepy man right on her toes she jumped through the window head first 

And instantly felt the warmth and light of the sun on her cold blood spattered skin…

The forth and concluding part of this mini series will be coming soon.. 🙂

Tales Of A Traded Little Girl.. part 1

The houses reveal faces

The ground reveal footsteps

The grass reveal the beauty mother earth gave to us

The blue chilled sky reveal the intoxicating atmosphere

The chippy songs sangs by the birds of paradise serenade

The rivers splash water flowing drowning out the screams

Blood drips from the top of the ceiling slowly

Soft sobs are all around the room as the they are too exhausted and scared to cry

Her fingers are bloody from all the nail chewing

She looks down at her stinky dress

Trying to remember how long its been since she bathed or even had a drop of water

By now her dress its clinging to her like a ghost which does not understand “NO”

Suddenly the door slams open and her heart jumps plummets into her tummy

Tears start flowing hot down her cheek as she starts saying a silent prayer under her breath

“please don’t let it be me, please don’t let it be me, please not today”

Footsteps start walking slowly towards her….

To be continued…….

Black Heart

Imperfection caresses my soul

Darkness looms above my heart

Some think it is pure and white

Some believe it has shades of the rainbow painted all over it

None really know the truth

The terror with in me

Hidden in the middle of the chaos

The beauty of the darkness is unimaginable

Yet i am so scared to look within

To embrace the darkness with in my being

Black as the dark night of the soul

As i try to open up for the light to go in

I feel it plummeting into my stomach

Light does not shine through

All that is left is a shriveling heart

As the last thought drifts into my mind

All that is left is emptiness

Walls Of Destruction

The walls i build around me are as hard as steel

Put around me to protect me

But instead they bring me pain

Because with them so high i have nothing to gain

I keep you at a distance so you see only the facade

So that my troubled, misery filled life does not infect you.

Pushing you away would be the best protection

Because i don’t want to strengthen the connection

I am terrified of my severe feelings for you

They have a hold on to me which makes me blue

My life always seem to lead to pain

Being with me you have nothing to gain

No matter how hard I try to disappear

 I never seem to be in the clear

I want to live my life with no terror

Terrified that someone will walk up to me and hurt me

Terrified that someone will leave me

Terrified that nothing will never workout for me

Terrified that i will end up alone

Because all i bring to your life is pain

I just want to be normal and bring joy to you..