A single thought

I sit here watching you
Looking at your face
I suddenly realize
You are not so handsome after all

I sit here listening to you speak
Listening but not really hearing you
Then I realize
Your words aren’t so sweet after all

I sit here seeing you move
Watching your hands
And realize suddenly
Your touch isn’t so soft and affectionate after all

I sit here peering at you
gazing deep into your eyes
And I realize suddenly
Your eyes aren’t so deep and loving after all

I sit here wondering
Maybe, just maybe, you are not it
Maybe you are not my soul mate
Maybe I’m not in love with you after all

I sit here saddened by a thought
A thought I’m having for the first time since we met
A thought sending shocks through my being
A thought that maybe
 I just might have to break your heart
And in turn break my own heart

Let Love Fly Away

As I sit up alone on the bed

Hoping that where you are you are enjoying yourself

Thinking that alone here where I am is the safest place

I start wondering

About what my future with you would be like

At first it’s all beautiful thoughts

A gorgeous wedding with all our loved ones there

Everyone smiling at each other happily

A place of solitude for us to live our lives happily

Once in a while getting into fights

But that would be fine because the making up would be sensational

Making hot, erotic wild love everyday

Tasting each other like it’s the first and last time

Looking so deep into each other’s eyes

The heated feeling of you close to me driving me crazy

And then reality struck in as the dream falls apart

The happy smiles turn into frowns

The happy wedding disappears into thin air

The place of solitude crumples into pieces

As I start to realize that I am not made for happiness, marriage and kind in laws

I am not meant for a peaceful life

I am for ever hated and loathed

What kind of life would I bring to the man who loves me

Hate, Pain, Misery, Arguments, constant judgments from his family and friends

Wouldn’t it just be better if I let him find someone else

Someone better liked and cherished

For me to just live by myself utter loneliness

Away from him so as not to bring him struggle, heart ache and disappointment

The world is what it is

And this is the way it’s going to have to be

I have to let him so that he can be happy and live the jollily fantasy I wish for him

Because love sometimes just isn’t enough for two people to survive together..

Sometimes you have to let love fly away