Is it possible for your heart to hurt so bad the pain feels physical..
For a heart to actually cry..
For you to feel like there’s a lead weight on your chest…
To feel like you have been punched in the chest….
And that your insides are about to rupture and come out through your mouth…
To feel like someone thrust their hand down your throat..
And started pulling your soul right from within you…


Stay With Me..

Please don’t leave me..
I’ll be good.. Better than before..
I need you… I crave you..
I will do anything you desire of me..
I will be anyone you need me to be..
I will follow you to the ends of the world..
Just please don’t leave..
Stay with me…


Bring Back The Light..


I knew light…
Danced around the light…
Rejoiced in the radiance…
Basked under it’s luminasity…
Until you came around…
And stole my light away…
Consumed it right from beneath me…
Leaving only a shardowy gloom…
Bathing me in your darkness…

Give Me My Heart Back..


I wish I could plug a lovometer into my heart..
Or even place a stethoscope near on my chest…
Or simply put your hand on my chest..
Just so you can feel me..
Know me..
Gage my love..
So you can know how you make me burn..
How my heart aches and breaks when I can’t have you..
So that you know when I tell you I miss you, I need you.. I want you..
What I really mean is I can’t survive without you..
My life is dark with no colors without you..
Know that i’m asking you to show me you need me as much as I do you..
Begging you to give me my heart back..
Because it hurts so bad to have this empty space where it should be..

Just One Night..


“Do you trust me?”…
He asks..

“With my life”..
She says..

“Do you love me?”
She asks..

“Now and forever”..
He says..

“Let me taste you”..
He asks..

“Would you ever hurt me?”..
She asks..

He answers..

“Then you can have me”
She says..

“You are MINE”..
He says..

They both know he is lying..
Yet choose to forget it..
Just this once..
Just for one night..

I Want To Live…

I’m so sick and tired..

Sick and tired of existing…
I want to live..
Not just exist..
Drifting in and out of days..
Doing whats expected of me..
School, University, Work, Marriage, Kids..
Until one day I finally die..
I feel drained, hollow, devoid of meaning..
I walk and travel the long road..
I fly, swim, drive, paddle..
Searching, aching for a path to take..
Searching for a purpose..
Searching for happiness..Not just contentment..
I want to run far from home and get lost in the wilderness..
I want to jump into the darkness and face the demons..
I want to dive into the ocean and discover the unimaginable..
I want to lose myself in life.. get drunk off her tits..
I want to feel alive..
I mean really live… Not just exist..

Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..
I’m in a constant fog..
Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..
You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..
Fueling my frantic need for you..
My dependency of you is an ache..
An ache which morphs into a physical pain..
When i’m away from you I can not bare it..
You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..
My core drilled and etched away..
You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..
You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..
Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..
Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..
A feeling of deep and utter loss..
Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..
And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 


Destined Encounter.. Part 2..

Applying for internships had been driving Alana crazy for the past few months. It seemed most companies just weren’t looking to hire a student and pay them as well, for the ones which she managed to get interviews to, were either too far away or had bosses who seemed unbearable.

That is why she was so nervous this morning , on the back of a cab on her way to yet another interview. That and the fact that she hardly got a full night’s sleep since a week and half ago when she met Sebastian. He roamed her mind madly, the spark of electricity that shot through her when he took her hand in his big manly one, imagining how those hands would feel on other parts of her body, thinking about his pink, luscious lips and if they feel as soft as they look.

She forced herself to pull away from the thoughts of handsomely chiseled Sebastian and concentrate on her impending interview.

Company address..check..
Phone..check..” she thought doing a mental list of all the things she might need.

Arriving at the office complex, she stepped out of the cab, then looked at herself on the glass doors one last time before quickly walking in heading directly for the elevators which were on the verge of closing.

Hold the lift please” She called out as she tried to run in her 6″ heels, failing miserably and flailing to the ground.

To her surprise she felt strong hands grab her by her waits and hoist her up right pulling her tightly against the savior’s rock hard body just as she was about to hit the floor face first. Lined along the stranger’s muscled body, Alana couldn’t help but want to stay a tad bit longer in those strong arms, for some reason she felt like they were built for her, like she belonged there. As he slowly set her on her feet once again, Alana felt a twinge of disappointment.

Alana, are you OK?”  Concern laced his voice as he spoke.

I’m f.. fine” her voice trailed off as she recognized that voice, that sexy, rich voice with an accented drawl. She looked up and fell right into his hypnotizing sea blue eyes.  Eyes which had been haunting her dreams and daily fantasies.

Sebastian, umm..hi.. thanks for saving me” she stuttered with a shy smile trying to pull herself together and collecting her possessions off the floor.

I want to be the one who saves you all time Alana” Sebastian said with a quiet resolve and Alana felt her heart skip a beat.

It seems we are destined to meet ma cherie. For a while there I thought I had lost my chance to get to know you better” He continued with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

uumm..i’m sorry what?” Alana asked, rather confused and finding it hard to concentrate on anything but  how absolutely gorgeous he looked. In a three piece designer suit that looked like it was designed on him he looked mouth wateringly good. He looked every bit the powerful business mogul she thought him to be.

Well, I tried to call you a few times, but never managed to get hold of you” He gave her a small fake pout and cast his eyes down.

Alana couldn’t help but laugh,giggle really, which made her feel like a love struck teenager. His fake pout made her want to nibble on his lower lip badly.

As they walked towards the elevators once again, she apologetically explained to him how she had lost her phone the week before when she was on her way home from a night out with her girlfriends and she had just gotten a new one which he obviously didn’t have the number for.

They got into the elevator, then as it began moving up Sebastian pressed the stop button and as he turned to face her she felt as though he could see directly into her soul. Had she been stuck in the small confined space with anyone else she would have been scared out of her mind. But standing there with this strange beautiful man it wasn’t fear she felt, she was excited yet soothed at the same time.

He walked towards her, stalking her, like a tiger towards its prey he came slowly and with a purpose, never once taking his eyes away from hers. Coming to a stop in front of her, a little into her personal space, crossing the line from two people who didn’t know each other to two people who were longing to touch each other, the air around them changed and became charged with raw sexual tension.

He put his hands on either sides of her ears, his palms flat on the walls of the elevator and his jaw clenched tight as if it was taking all his energy to fight the urge to feel her pressed against him.

Alana..” He breathed her name out causing a shiver to run down her spine.

God why does the way he say my name drench my underwear, he shouldn’t have such an effect on me“.. Alana thought to herself, slowly licking her lips and trying to get some sort of control over her rapid breathing and pounding heart.

What do I have to do to make you mine?” Sebastian asked with an unfathomable yearning in his voice..



Compelled by his love ..
Right from the start he was a thief..
Caught me unawares..

Stole my love..
Mind, body and soul, i’m captured..
Enchanted by a man so powerful..
Holding me so close i feel him within me..
My senses assaulted by his caress..
By his mesmerizing voice..
By his captivating eyes..
By his intoxicating scent..
Goodness me..
How do I escape from his web..