Missing you..

Sometimes I think i’m safely in your arms..
I think my world is completely whole..
Happy even.. 
That I might wake up to see your handsome face..
To feel your soft lips on mine..
Your calloused hands  softly caressing my body..
But then reality crashes down over me..
And i realize that the place where my heart used to reside is empty..
I realize you are nowhere to be found, no longer with me..
And I remember you are a million miles away from me..
And I start to miss you all over again..

Ohh Heart.. Why Him..

There is a million reasons why I should not love him..
Why I should not care..
Why I should not long, crave for him..
For his touch..For his kisses..
For his voice..For his love
Iv tried not feeling anything for him..
I have tried to convince myself to move on..
To forget about him..
Because he has probably forgotten about me now..
Probably moved on to the next girl..
But my heart and soul can’t help it..
He is permanently etched onto my heart..Onto my skin
I breathe through him..
I need him…

Number one….

One day..
One far away day..
one lonely day..

Just one day…

I will finally be someone’s number one..

It might not be today..

It might not be  tomorrow..

Might not even be in the next ten years..

But I have to believe…
I have to hope and pray..

That one day..

Someone will love me enough..
Need me enough…
Adore me enough..

To render me their number one..

Aching without you..

When you are not with me

When you are far away from me

I feel lost…

Like my head is spinning..

Like I cannot breath..

I feel a hollowness deep within me..

A space in my heart..

I feel a deep aching within my soul..

Swallow Me Whole…

I feel a darkness..
A darkness within..
Surrounding me..
Like dark poisonous vines curving around a dying tree..
Pain..
Utter and ultimate misery..
Twirls around my slow beating heart..
Swallowing me whole..
Devouring my inner being..

Rattled Soul…

Last night i had a dream about you

You walked towards me barefoot

Twinkles in your warm soft brown eyes

 I worshiped you with my heart

You opened your arms to embrace me

I moved easily into a place i thought home

But it is not my body you hold

It is my tear soaked heart

Devil in disguise you are

Ripped me open you did

As i lay unmoving watching you cackle

As you smash my heart against a brick wall

Watching my heart crack open and drip out

I am left to sorrowfully conjecture

With a rattled soul i shall depart this earth..

 

 

 

Hot Summer Day

I saw you on a hot summer day

Your eyes were glistening with desire and longing

As handsome as a knight riding his horse ever waving an eager sword

Strikingly tall and proud  

Your sun kissed skin shinning as the water droplets drip from your wet body

The moment you touched my hand i knew  you were going to be trouble

Your sweet embrace took my breath away

As you turned around and said ” you intoxicate me”

I felt a shiver travel down my spine

As you moved your lips from mine to the nape of my neck

And your hands in a soft caress to the small of my back

My eyes shut tight as I felt a shudder with in me

You knocked my headlights out.. 

And then I heard you call my name..over and over and over you called me

Until my eyes flew open and you disappeared into foggy nothingness

I can still feel your rose like lips on mine as i move my finger over them

Your soft fingertips touching my bare skin

How could it have been a dream….