Missing you..

Sometimes I think i’m safely in your arms..
I think my world is completely whole..
Happy even.. 
That I might wake up to see your handsome face..
To feel your soft lips on mine..
Your calloused hands  softly caressing my body..
But then reality crashes down over me..
And i realize that the place where my heart used to reside is empty..
I realize you are nowhere to be found, no longer with me..
And I remember you are a million miles away from me..
And I start to miss you all over again..

sleep

Number one….

One day..
One far away day..
one lonely day..
Just one day…
I will finally be someone’s number one..
It might not be today..
It might not be  tomorrow..
Might not even be in the next ten years..
But I have to believe…
I have to hope and pray..
That one day..
Someone will love me enough..
Need me enough…
Adore me enough..
To render me their number one..
loveme

Swallow Me Whole…

I feel a darkness..
A darkness within..
Surrounding me..
Like dark poisonous vines curving around a dying tree..
Pain..
Utter and ultimate misery..
Twirls around my slow beating heart..
Swallowing me whole..
Devouring my inner being..

dark

Forbidden Love.. Part One


As i sit watching her from afar, watching her every move, her hazel innocent eyes, her soft pink lips, her voluptuous lustrous body,her long silky hair. I wonder is she thinking about me, does she even know i exist, every muscle in my body aches the more i am apart from her. All i want to do is walk up to her, grab her by her small waist and embrace her but i cant. I have to keep reminding myself i am married. I have a wonderful husband who adores me and i have to keep away from Anaise.
We met on a cold rainy night, my husband and i had just gotten into a big fight. I went on a drive to the closest coffee shop and the moment i walked into the shop my eyes went directly to her, in her short shorts, long shiny hair falling gently over her shoulders. I felt an instant connection that i didn’t understand, she walked right up to me and told me how breath taking i was, being so long since i heard that from anyone, i fell for her that very minute.
” I am Anaise” she said the words flowing seductively out of her.
” I am Yara” i responded quietly and nervously feeling extremely flushed. We talked all night long, laughing and flirting, i never understood the feelings i developed for her, a woman can never feel that way for another woman. I had been told this on many occasions. From that night on i could never stop thinking about her, every time i’m with my husband i cant stop comparing him to her. When he touches me, all i can think about is his hands are not as gentle as hers, when he kisses me all i can think about is his lips are not as soft and delicious as hers, when he makes love to me i feel a pang of guilt and disgust because i am faking what should be the most beautiful act between two people who love each other.

” Hey beautiful, wanna get out of here?” Anaise says, pulling me away from my thoughts as she sat down and kissed me on the cheek

To be continued…

Hot Summer Day

I saw you on a hot summer day

Your eyes were glistening with desire and longing

As handsome as a knight riding his horse ever waving an eager sword
Strikingly tall and proud  
Your sun kissed skin shinning as the water droplets drip from your wet body
The moment you touched my hand i knew  you were going to be trouble
Your sweet embrace took my breath away
As you turned around and said ” you intoxicate me”
I felt a shiver travel down my spine
As you moved your lips from mine to the nape of my neck
And your hands in a soft caress to the small of my back
My eyes shut tight as I felt a shudder with in me
You knocked my headlights out.. 
And then I heard you call my name..over and over and over you called me
Until my eyes flew open and you disappeared into foggy nothingness
I can still feel your rose like lips on mine as i move my finger over them
Your soft fingertips touching my bare skin
How could it have been a dream….