Depression

Image by Amaitte

More and more my head rules my life..
I stay alive in my own head..
Thinking…Wondering… Stressing
Imagining..Fantasizing..
Shutting myself out from the world..
The disappointment around me..
The desolation of being me..
The pain of reality..

More and more I live in my own head..
My happy place..
My solace of peace..
Reality and fantasy merging into one..
More and more I vanish
Evaporating into nothingness..
And more and more I do not want to come back..

I Want To Live…

I’m so sick and tired..

Sick and tired of existing…
I want to live..
Not just exist..
Drifting in and out of days..
Doing whats expected of me..
School, University, Work, Marriage, Kids..
Until one day I finally die..
I feel drained, hollow, devoid of meaning..
I walk and travel the long road..
I fly, swim, drive, paddle..
Searching, aching for a path to take..
Searching for a purpose..
Searching for happiness..Not just contentment..
I want to run far from home and get lost in the wilderness..
I want to jump into the darkness and face the demons..
I want to dive into the ocean and discover the unimaginable..
I want to lose myself in life.. get drunk off her tits..
I want to feel alive..
I mean really live… Not just exist..
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