Broken Hearted Girl..

 

In the journey to your freedom and awakening you took my everything

The longing of being apart from you leaves me paralyzed

I lie in bed all night in a vegetative state

Searching through my bags i found your shirt

I havent been able to part with it ever since because of your insatiable scent on it

You always did smell so good

Like rough sweet sweat with a pinch of flowery essence

I know i am probably going insane

But what am i to do with out you here

I can’t eat, read or even sleep with out you in my every thought

I’ts impossible for me to doze with out your arms around me

And when somehow i do manage

I fall deep into a world of you, our memories and the love we shared

The ache in my heart is so deep because i know you are forever gone

Distance is supposed to make the love fade

But with every second that i’m not with you

My heart grows fonder

Then the wound in my wrecked heart gets bigger

Morphing into a terrible infected gush

Why have you forsaken me my love..

Abyss….

I live in padlocked terror

Is it today is it tomorrow

Is it the day that’s going to be my sorrow

Am i being punished for being the creature that i am

Hard times come and drag me down

Down into the deepest scum filled gulf

In a state of abyss here i slouch

slain in my journey to survival

My soul tumbles into the deep void

Waiting for the ogres and trolls to come 

To come and gather my soulless bag of severed carcass

freedom!!

You can say what you want

But i’ll never let you get on my case

When life gets hectic who do i have

I’m i able to continue with things the way they are

What boundaries do i have to break to continue

How do i make change happen

What does the change entail

Who do i keep in my life

Who do i get rid of

How will my life change since i have no feeling anyone

How do i deal with defeat

How come i’m writing instead of drawing

How come this is the only way to express my feelings

How come i have no hope of a better life?

A happier life

How do i make them understand to not expect anything from me anymore

How do i not care about life anymore

Things which used to hurt are hurting less and less lately

As long as i don’t try,nothing can go wrong and no one can hurt me

I really should try but i just don’t give a danm anymore

I feel a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders!!

I feel free for the first time in a long time

No more trying for me.. just acceptance…