My First Heart Break

They say a mother’s love is all encompassing
A mother’s love is power
A mother’s love gives sustenance
A mother’s love heals wounds
A mother’s love embraces the heart and soul

She birthed me
She raised me
She fed me
She loved me
But never as much as she did my kin

She birthed her before me
She put her on a pedestal
She nourished her
Mind body and soul
She adored her
More than she ever did me

They say a mother’s love is all encompassing
But my mother’s love is fickle and conditional


A mother’s love gives power
But my mother’s love makes me weak and frail


A mother’s love gives sustenance
But my mother’s love leaves me yearning and famished


A mother’s love heals all wounds
But my mother’s love breaks me and creates deep gashes


A mother’s love embraces your heart and soul
But my mother’s love shatters my heart and cracks open my soul



Image from an unknown artist

Lost…

Gazing at you..
At your deep, dark blue eyes..
Or are they purple..
Maybe black..
I dare not wonder anymore..
All I know is they stole my words…
And now I need those eyes to keep existing..
Because they see me….
They see my soul..
My inner being..
They give me strength..
Fill me with love..With hope..With life..
Without them I am lost..

love

Missing you..

Sometimes I think i’m safely in your arms..
I think my world is completely whole..
Happy even.. 
That I might wake up to see your handsome face..
To feel your soft lips on mine..
Your calloused hands  softly caressing my body..
But then reality crashes down over me..
And i realize that the place where my heart used to reside is empty..
I realize you are nowhere to be found, no longer with me..
And I remember you are a million miles away from me..
And I start to miss you all over again..

sleep