The worst thing that I have been dreading and have been avoiding for what feels like ages just happened. I wasn’t expecting her home for at least one more week, her walking in on Mollie and I, is terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’ve fallen in love with Mollie, but I still care a great deal for Rosie, she has been as supportive and loving as a wife could possibly ever be, but things had started getting a bit too wearily routine and boring and for my liking and when I met Mollie I thought wow!!. She was young, exciting, gorgeous, legs that looked like they could go on forever, perky huge breats, and just everything that my typical life didn’t consist of. The most incredible thing was that she actually liked me, not because we were married or because she had to, but just liked me for myself, she made me feel young, attractive and as wild as a panther. The first time I saw her was at the gym, at first it was nothing more than a little harmless flirting, and just knowing that I’ll see her at the gym at the end of my very long and stressful day made me blissfully teenage puppy love happy. And I guess that is about the time that I started to change a bit towards Rosie, because the rest of my mind was filled with the gorgeous young lawyer. One night after the gym Mollie came to me and asked me if I would like to go and get some coffee or dinner, “as just friends” she said. I agreed to tag along and I believe that was the first day which led to this very day right now.
“Going to have a bite with the boys, be back late, don’t wait up. Love ya”,was a quick scribble of a text I sent Rosie as I went to have dinner with Mollie. Time flew by on our “friends date” and by the time I got back home it was already 2 am. That was the beginning of our affair, we rented lavish rooms in beautiful hotels, we met at my office (of course during lunch or after office hours, when I was sure that no one was there), we met at her chic apartment and anywhere else where we could rip our clothes off and make sweet wild love. Our lust for each other even caused us to meet in my house, which is the reason why now Rosie is staring at me with her big teary angry eyes.
“I don’t know” I say. Moving towards her, deciding otherwise when I see the murderous look in her eyes.
“I still love you very much, it’s just that our life has become such a routine, and she makes me feel young,attractive and alive” As I am trying to explain my cheating, I realize that even to me this is not a good reason to betray my wife. I truly have no clue why I cheated, other than the fact that Mollie is stunning and my relationship with her is exciting, adventurous and fresh. But of course I cannot say this to Rosie, it takes two to make a relationship work, and it did not give me the right to cheat just because I felt bored.
She stares at me for a while longer and then sits on the pretty red love couch next to the window with her head slumped in. All at once she looked very vulnerable, crushed and in deep sorrow,
“Do you love her?” she asks with a final sigh with her whole body as if she has given up all hope and is tired of even talking.
“I don’t know how I feel, but I know I still love you” I answer with a doubt in my voice that I could not shake. As we sit on the couches opposite each other, I realize now how very much I messed up, how I ruined things in our relationship, I realize how much I love Rosie, but sadly now it’s too late. We decide it would be best if I didn’t spend the night in the house tonight, so as I leave, to go and spend the night at my friend Nate’s apartment, she looks at me with a mixed look of utter disgust, hate, disappointment and sadness which made my heart feel like it had been cut to pieces by that one look.
To be continued…