Walls Of Destruction

The walls i build around me are as hard as steel

Put around me to protect me

But instead they bring me pain

Because with them so high i have nothing to gain

I keep you at a distance so you see only the facade

So that my troubled, misery filled life does not infect you.

Pushing you away would be the best protection

Because i don’t want to strengthen the connection

I am terrified of my severe feelings for you

They have a hold on to me which makes me blue

My life always seem to lead to pain

Being with me you have nothing to gain

No matter how hard I try to disappear

 I never seem to be in the clear

I want to live my life with no terror

Terrified that someone will walk up to me and hurt me

Terrified that someone will leave me

Terrified that nothing will never workout for me

Terrified that i will end up alone

Because all i bring to your life is pain

I just want to be normal and bring joy to you..

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8 thoughts on “Walls Of Destruction

  1. Heartbreaking, so much pain and fear… And the loved one just wants to love back, how to make the wall tumble!
    A very good poem!

  2. You visited me and so I thought that I would return the favor. It made me sad for you. I was right where you are about 7 or 8 years ago. I’m sure that I am much older than you and my walls were both higher and thicker, but there is hope. Even though you may not think so. I thought God had abandoned me, didn’t care to live anymore and then He sent me a man that I had not even imagined in my dreams. I really never knew what it was like to be loved, I mean truly – deeply loved, until I fell for my husband. He patiently waited until those walls had a crack and then he broke through with such force that I have never been the same! Just be open to the possiblity for there is a soulmate waiting out there somewhere. Love is a partnership, it takes work and selflessness but worth every bit of the effort. God bless you richly, Teresa

  3. woww Teresa thats really wonderful for you.. and thank you for the advice…. i have a wonderful man in my life but its still so hard to let him have a peak in, im very thankful that he is so patient with me and hope that i also like you will have the courage you had to let the crack stay open.. 😀

  4. I tried being normal once instead of the Odd Ball I am and all it did was drive me crazy until I decided to be myself and to hell with those who thought that I was weird. 🙂

    • thats a good thing.. you should never try to be someone that you are not, all my life people have been telling me to change, but i never listen, i am who i am.. :-).. thanx for visiting.. 😀

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