Give Me My Heart Back..

sad

I wish I could plug a lovometer into my heart..
Or even place a stethoscope near on my chest…
Or simply put your hand on my chest..
Just so you can feel me..
Know me..
Gage my love..
So you can know how you make me burn..
How my heart aches and breaks when I can’t have you..
So that you know when I tell you I miss you, I need you.. I want you..
What I really mean is I can’t survive without you..
My life is dark with no colors without you..
Know that i’m asking you to show me you need me as much as I do you..
Begging you to give me my heart back..
Because it hurts so bad to have this empty space where it should be..

I Want To Live…

I’m so sick and tired..

Sick and tired of existing…
I want to live..
Not just exist..
Drifting in and out of days..
Doing whats expected of me..
School, University, Work, Marriage, Kids..
Until one day I finally die..
I feel drained, hollow, devoid of meaning..
I walk and travel the long road..
I fly, swim, drive, paddle..
Searching, aching for a path to take..
Searching for a purpose..
Searching for happiness..Not just contentment..
I want to run far from home and get lost in the wilderness..
I want to jump into the darkness and face the demons..
I want to dive into the ocean and discover the unimaginable..
I want to lose myself in life.. get drunk off her tits..
I want to feel alive..
I mean really live… Not just exist..
Image

Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..
I’m in a constant fog..
Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..
You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..
Fueling my frantic need for you..
My dependency of you is an ache..
An ache which morphs into a physical pain..
When i’m away from you I can not bare it..
You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..
My core drilled and etched away..
You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..
You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..
Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..
Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..
A feeling of deep and utter loss..
Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..
And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 

gal

Destined Encounter.. Part 2..

Applying for internships had been driving Alana crazy for the past few months. It seemed most companies just weren’t looking to hire a student and pay them as well, for the ones which she managed to get interviews to, were either too far away or had bosses who seemed unbearable.

That is why she was so nervous this morning , on the back of a cab on her way to yet another interview. That and the fact that she hardly got a full night’s sleep since a week and half ago when she met Sebastian. He roamed her mind madly, the spark of electricity that shot through her when he took her hand in his big manly one, imagining how those hands would feel on other parts of her body, thinking about his pink, luscious lips and if they feel as soft as they look.

She forced herself to pull away from the thoughts of handsomely chiseled Sebastian and concentrate on her impending interview.

Cv..check..
Company address..check..
Phone..check..” she thought doing a mental list of all the things she might need.

Arriving at the office complex, she stepped out of the cab, then looked at herself on the glass doors one last time before quickly walking in heading directly for the elevators which were on the verge of closing.

Hold the lift please” She called out as she tried to run in her 6″ heels, failing miserably and flailing to the ground.

To her surprise she felt strong hands grab her by her waits and hoist her up right pulling her tightly against the savior’s rock hard body just as she was about to hit the floor face first. Lined along the stranger’s muscled body, Alana couldn’t help but want to stay a tad bit longer in those strong arms, for some reason she felt like they were built for her, like she belonged there. As he slowly set her on her feet once again, Alana felt a twinge of disappointment.

Alana, are you OK?”  Concern laced his voice as he spoke.

I’m f.. fine” her voice trailed off as she recognized that voice, that sexy, rich voice with an accented drawl. She looked up and fell right into his hypnotizing sea blue eyes.  Eyes which had been haunting her dreams and daily fantasies.

Sebastian, umm..hi.. thanks for saving me” she stuttered with a shy smile trying to pull herself together and collecting her possessions off the floor.

I want to be the one who saves you all time Alana” Sebastian said with a quiet resolve and Alana felt her heart skip a beat.

It seems we are destined to meet ma cherie. For a while there I thought I had lost my chance to get to know you better” He continued with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

uumm..i’m sorry what?” Alana asked, rather confused and finding it hard to concentrate on anything but  how absolutely gorgeous he looked. In a three piece designer suit that looked like it was designed on him he looked mouth wateringly good. He looked every bit the powerful business mogul she thought him to be.

Well, I tried to call you a few times, but never managed to get hold of you” He gave her a small fake pout and cast his eyes down.

Alana couldn’t help but laugh,giggle really, which made her feel like a love struck teenager. His fake pout made her want to nibble on his lower lip badly.

As they walked towards the elevators once again, she apologetically explained to him how she had lost her phone the week before when she was on her way home from a night out with her girlfriends and she had just gotten a new one which he obviously didn’t have the number for.

They got into the elevator, then as it began moving up Sebastian pressed the stop button and as he turned to face her she felt as though he could see directly into her soul. Had she been stuck in the small confined space with anyone else she would have been scared out of her mind. But standing there with this strange beautiful man it wasn’t fear she felt, she was excited yet soothed at the same time.

He walked towards her, stalking her, like a tiger towards its prey he came slowly and with a purpose, never once taking his eyes away from hers. Coming to a stop in front of her, a little into her personal space, crossing the line from two people who didn’t know each other to two people who were longing to touch each other, the air around them changed and became charged with raw sexual tension.

He put his hands on either sides of her ears, his palms flat on the walls of the elevator and his jaw clenched tight as if it was taking all his energy to fight the urge to feel her pressed against him.

Alana..” He breathed her name out causing a shiver to run down her spine.

God why does the way he say my name drench my underwear, he shouldn’t have such an effect on me“.. Alana thought to herself, slowly licking her lips and trying to get some sort of control over her rapid breathing and pounding heart.

What do I have to do to make you mine?” Sebastian asked with an unfathomable yearning in his voice..

ele

Bewitched..

Compelled by his love ..
Right from the start he was a thief..
Caught me unawares..

Stole my love..
Mind, body and soul, i’m captured..
Enchanted by a man so powerful..
Holding me so close i feel him within me..
My senses assaulted by his caress..
By his mesmerizing voice..
By his captivating eyes..
By his intoxicating scent..
Goodness me..
How do I escape from his web..
bewitched

 

Tainted..

girl

My mind is a torturous hole
Never leaving me on my own
Forever insisting on ripping my soul apart
Always pondering though out scenario or another
One “what if” or the other
One painful memory or another
I am eternally sucked into my abyss of a brain
Leaving my spirit stained with blotches of sadness
How am I ever to survive..

To be…Or Not To Be..

My life..
My love..
My only one..
Or so i thought..
You, my dream,my fantasy..
No longer my reality..
My source of light,of joy, of love, of all things wonderful..
Now my cause for pain, for heartache, for pure torture..
You, who captured my soul, my heart in beautiful rose nets..

Now leaves me captured in torment, in black vines of death..
With no hope, no faith of survival..
I crave for your adoration, your touch, your voice..
Because you are mine no more..
I long for your memories to leave me..
Night in and day out your face haunts my existence..

lost

Weak On Your Knees

Weak on your knees
Dripping syrup on your body
Slipping an ice cube down your back
Brushing feathers down your tummy
Feeding kisses to your sensitive silky skin
Breathing in your heavenly scent by your neck
Whispering wicked nothings in your ear
Hot and cold
Soft and hard
Slow and fast
Smooth and rough
I’ll have you following me into the gates of hell
Have you breathing wild and rapid
Have you weak in the knees
I’m right here to take care of you
Whenever you desire it you shall get it
However you want it i shall give it
What ever you offer i will drink it up till the last drop
Until the day i die i shall make it my life’s mission
Wishing that one day our souls shall intertwine
Longing to be one with you
Hoping I can have you for a lifetime
Yet knowing you barely exist..

Last Kiss

He Breathes..

He breathes..

Taking in the cool night breeze..
Occasionally  giving me a glance..
Distant, unattached, uninvolved..
Distracted by the pretty damsels..
Dancing around..
Carefree in their flimsy summer dresses..
He breathes..
Occasionally drizzling me with attention..
Spraying me with affection..
Continuously ignoring my longing..
He drinks me up and sucks me dry..
Then spits me out and stomps on me..
Before taking his leave..
All that’s left is a whisper of me..
Dislodged..
Frayed..

Naked Poetry..

Naked….
I lie here yours for the taking…
Bare…
I lay it all out..
Exposed..
Explore as I know you desire..
Uncovered..
You leave scars on my soul..
Stripped…
You hackle away into oblivion..
Empty…
I no longer crave to subsist…
Vacant..
Eyes lost in a planet of no hope…