Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..

I’m in a constant fog..

Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..

You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..

Fueling my frantic need for you..

My dependency of you is an ache..

An ache which morphs into a physical pain..

When i’m away from you I can not bare it..

You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..

My core drilled and etched away..

You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..

You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..

Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..

Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..

A feeling of deep and utter loss..

Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..

And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 

Destined Encounter.. Part 2..

Applying for internships had been driving Alana crazy for the past few months. It seemed most companies just weren’t looking to hire a student and pay them as well, for the ones which she managed to get interviews to, were either too far away or had bosses who seemed unbearable.

That is why she was so nervous this morning , on the back of a cab on her way to yet another interview. That and the fact that she hardly got a full night’s sleep since a week and half ago when she met Sebastian. He roamed her mind madly, the spark of electricity that shot through her when he took her hand in his big manly one, imagining how those hands would feel on other parts of her body, thinking about his pink, luscious lips and if they feel as soft as they look.

She forced herself to pull away from the thoughts of handsomely chiseled Sebastian and concentrate on her impending interview.

“Cv..check..
Company address..check..
Phone..check..” she thought doing a mental list of all the things she might need.

Arriving at the office complex, she stepped out of the cab, then looked at herself on the glass doors one last time before quickly walking in heading directly for the elevators which were on the verge of closing.

“Hold the lift please” She called out as she tried to run in her 6″ heels, failing miserably and flailing to the ground.

To her surprise she felt strong hands grab her by her waits and hoist her up right pulling her tightly against the savior’s rock hard body just as she was about to hit the floor face first. Lined along the stranger’s muscled body, Alana couldn’t help but want to stay a tad bit longer in those strong arms, for some reason she felt like they were built for her, like she belonged there. As he slowly set her on her feet once again, Alana felt a twinge of disappointment.

“Alana, are you OK?”  Concern laced his voice as he spoke.

“I’m f.. fine” her voice trailed off as she recognized that voice, that sexy, rich voice with an accented drawl. She looked up and fell right into his hypnotizing sea blue eyes.  Eyes which had been haunting her dreams and daily fantasies.

“Sebastian, umm..hi.. thanks for saving me” she stuttered with a shy smile trying to pull herself together and collecting her possessions off the floor.

“I want to be the one who saves you all time Alana” Sebastian said with a quiet resolve and Alana felt her heart skip a beat.

“It seems we are destined to meet ma cherie. For a while there I thought I had lost my chance to get to know you better” He continued with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“uumm..i’m sorry what?” Alana asked, rather confused and finding it hard to concentrate on anything but  how absolutely gorgeous he looked. In a three piece designer suit that looked like it was designed on him he looked mouth wateringly good. He looked every bit the powerful business mogul she thought him to be.

“Well, I tried to call you a few times, but never managed to get hold of you” He gave her a small fake pout and cast his eyes down.

Alana couldn’t help but laugh,giggle really, which made her feel like a love struck teenager. His fake pout made her want to nibble on his lower lip badly.

As they walked towards the elevators once again, she apologetically explained to him how she had lost her phone the week before when she was on her way home from a night out with her girlfriends and she had just gotten a new one which he obviously didn’t have the number for.

They got into the elevator, then as it began moving up Sebastian pressed the stop button and as he turned to face her she felt as though he could see directly into her soul. Had she been stuck in the small confined space with anyone else she would have been scared out of her mind. But standing there with this strange beautiful man it wasn’t fear she felt, she was excited yet soothed at the same time.

He walked towards her, stalking her, like a tiger towards its prey he came slowly and with a purpose, never once taking his eyes away from hers. Coming to a stop in front of her, a little into her personal space, crossing the line from two people who didn’t know each other to two people who were longing to touch each other, the air around them changed and became charged with raw sexual tension.

He put his hands on either sides of her ears, his palms flat on the walls of the elevator and his jaw clenched tight as if it was taking all his energy to fight the urge to feel her pressed against him.

“Alana..” He breathed her name out causing a shiver to run down her spine.

“God why does the way he say my name drench my underwear, he shouldn’t have such an effect on me“.. Alana thought to herself, slowly licking her lips and trying to get some sort of control over her rapid breathing and pounding heart.

“What do I have to do to make you mine?” Sebastian asked with an unfathomable yearning in his voice..

Bewitched..

Compelled by his love ..

Right from the start he was a thief..
Caught me unawares..
Stole my love..

Mind, body and soul, i’m captured..

Enchanted by a man so powerful..

Holding me so close i feel him within me..

My senses assaulted by his caress..

By his mesmerizing voice..

By his captivating eyes..

By his intoxicating scent..

Goodness me..

How do I escape from his web..

 

Destined Encounter.. Part 1

Sebastian sat on the backseat of his Bentley SUV as it drove down the road in a state of boredom, not really knowing what he is doing or even bothered as to where he is heading.

“Stop the car”, he said to his driver, exasperated. There on the curb, by the bus stop sat the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on. With long ebony hair streaming down her perfectly small face, small pouty lips, and eyes like the jewels ancient travelers used to look for, such sad eyes for a goddess.

He lingered in the car wondering if it is the best thing to approach a girl sitting alone in a public area, sitting there in the luxury of his car all sort of thoughts go through his mind, what should he say, should he just ask Jean to continue driving, should he go and talk to the pretty girl and make her smile? After what seemed like an eternity waiting, he simply opened the door and walked slowly but swiftly to her.

“I’m sorry to bother you but I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are yet you are so sad, I was hoping if I pathetically came to talk to you I would get at least a tiny smile from you “ He said quickly hoping for her to shut him out or tell him to leave her alone.

To his astonishment she smiled and said “Thank you for the compliment, I think”

”Why do you say ‘you think’ ?” He said with a deep accented drawl, letting out a slow, sexy, lazy smile

“Well you teamed up your compliment with the fact that I look sad, so I don’t know how good I might look while also seeming sad” A dark shadow crossed her eyes, Making his’s chest compress with pain for her. How could a girl this beautiful be so sad, he wanted to take her pain away, to give her the world, to make those pretty light brown eyes sparkle with joy.

How he could he feel so strongly, and so deeply for a girl he just met not even 5 minutes ago was beyond him.

“ummm.. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say you looked any less breath taking even though your eyes have a sadness about them, I just meant you seem sad and I wish I knew how to make you give me that smile again” He took a breath and waited for her to say something, but she just gave him a small smile and looked down at her nails. Bright red nails on beautiful small and fragile looking hands.

When he saw that she wasn’t going to say anything he continued.

“So tell me ma cherie, who’s the jerk who made you blue so that I can go give him a beat down?”

She let out a breathy, melodious laugh which hit him like a stack of bricks, so unexpectedly angelic.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners, my name is Sebastian Right”

She put her hand in his perfectly manicured extended hand, marveling at how his brawny masculine hand swallowed her tiny fragile hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Sebastian, I’m Alana Reynolds” She said still smiling at him.

Sebastian had seen a lot of girls around the world, as the CEO of his father’s Rights Incorporated  the biggest steel and shipping company in the world, his job took him everywhere and introduced him to women from all walks of life.

“The pleasure is truly all mine Alana” He said with optimism in his voice as he was so surprised and pleased to be talking to her.

“Well Sebastian, if you are going to continue talking to me, I suggest you take a seat, you will make me grow horns standing over me like that” She smirked as she scooted over making a space for him next to her.

He laughed richly and deeply as he took a seat next to her. “I have no idea what that means, but i’d love to take a seat”

They continued to talk for a while getting to know each other and realizing that they have so much in common.

She told him about how she is a student and talked about her studies, he listened, grateful to have been blessed enough to find this beauty, breathing in her rich lavender, spicy scent. He told her about his latest business meeting which left him completely drained and without any solutions to his problems. He had been dealing with his father’s latest business purchase, a small company in Malaysia which he had been sent to help get it underway, this was easier said than done.

Most of the employees could hardly speak English and it was up to him he would just close the danm business and go back to Geneva.

“It seems to me that you could use some help understanding them, and also learning about their culture and maybe find some way to improve their work ethic” She looked thoughtful and ready to give him more ideas.

He appreciated that she was trying to help him, he had never spoken to a girl who tried to share his problems and help him solve them. It excited him in ways he didn’t understand.

“Its been so enriching and such a pleasure getting to know you. You have turned my day around, but I really have to get going, the bus is coming” Alana said, a little sad that she will have to part with this gorgeous man with green expressing eyes.

“I am the one who is grateful to have met you, believe me when I say I have never had a better day but now” Sebastian said as she got up to leave.

They said their goodbyes and exchanged contact details then parted ways. As he watched her get into the bus he felt his heart flutter, she looked out at him from the bus window and waved at him with a sultry smile.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a daze as all that was in Sebastian’s mind was Alana, he sweet voice, her small pink lips, the way she cocked her head when she got shy, her silky, soft chocolate skin.

Sebastian knew no matter what it took, however long he had to wait, whatever he had to go through, he had to make her his.

To be continued..

I Long For You..

We used to have everything..
I your Cinderella..
You my Prince Charming..

Oh mi amor..

Laying under the night sky..
Counting stars and making love..

Mi corazon…

Embracing blissfully and talking till the sun comes out..
Walking hand in hand and kissing on the streets..

Oh il mio angelo…

Living in our own beautiful, magical world..
Whispering “I love yous”..

My Darling…

Wherever you are..
Dream a little dream of me..
As my mind and heart lingers on you..
Sweet dreams with bitter longings haunt me..

Mon cher…

In a world with out you I am lost..
I wish to feel you with me, on me, around me..

Wicked Angel..

An angel, yet devilish you are..

Pure and corrupted all at once..

Powerful, with a hint of vulnerability on the inside..

Cruelly hard edged, yet savagely sweet..

With ice cold eyes which hide severe emotions..

You are my fantasy mixed with my reality..

Haunting me with your nightmares..

Then soothing me with your sweet dreams..

I knew I loved you long before..

Before you sauntered into my life you wicked angel..

Tainted..

My mind is a torturous hole
Never leaving me on my own
Forever insisting on ripping my soul apart
Always pondering though out scenario or another
One “what if” or the other
One painful memory or another
I am eternally sucked into my abyss of a brain
Leaving my spirit stained with blotches of sadness
How am I ever to survive..

To be…Or Not To Be..

My life..
My love..
My only one..
Or so i thought..
You, my dream,my fantasy..
No longer my reality..
My source of light,of joy, of love, of all things wonderful..
Now my cause for pain, for heartache, for pure torture..
You, who captured my soul, my heart in beautiful rose nets..
Now leaves me captured in torment, in black vines of death..
With no hope, no faith of survival..
I crave for your adoration, your touch, your voice..
Because you are mine no more..
I long for your memories to leave me..
Night in and day out your face haunts my existence..

Angel You Seek

So pure she breathes..
Her chest moving up and down she turns
Making my heart skip a beat she yawn
I caress her silky cheek
With the back of my fingers i feel her warmth
A jolt moves through me as I look down at her small enchanting face
I lean in close, a yearning to fill my lungs with her heavenly scent controlling me
As i inhale deeply I feel my heart jumping for joy then tumbling down with an ache
I knew she would smell sweet but not this sugary, this addictive, this rich
Like a summer breeze she smells, like beautiful roses, like fresh air, like life itsself
I can feel her fidgeting, getting ready to wake up
But my complete, unadulterated hunger for her freezes me on my spot
I want to embrace her and never let go
Love her so much that she will never cry again
Protect her and hold her tight to my chest so I can feel every beat her heart makes
To taste her soft pink lips
Make love to her all night long and make her every fantasy come alive
But I am bound by the laws of our nature not to touch her
Not to openly and completely love her
To bury my feelings deep with in and watch her live her life
For her to never know I exist
She opens her eyes slowly, gazing around her room
For a moment locking her eyes with me as if she sees me sitting across from her
Then slowly looking away and switching on her bedside lamp
She then wraps her delicate, lovely hands around herself, for a moment touching her cheek
Feeling where I just touched her
With a fire for burning deep with in me i watch her longingly
I knew she could feel my presence, she always could
Yes my love, with my life I shall protect you and keep you safe
Till the day I die I shall watch over you
For that is my job as your guardian angel
And maybe, just maybe
One day I shall be granted the greatest gift of all, my greatest wish
For us to finally be together mind, body and soul
That shall be the day I finally start living..

My Birthday In Nigh!

Time..Flows swiftly..
Sometimes slowly..
Passing me by..
Stringing me along..
pushing me through the gates..
Is it a lowly day..
Is it a decade..
My soul feels awfully glum..
Am i alone..
For i feel deserted, secluded, desolate..
Oh how i have grown to loathe this day..
This epoch that i was born on..

My birthday is tomorrow and i’m a continent away from my familia, so i’m kind of feel extra lonely this year..