Give Me My Heart Back..

sad

I wish I could plug a lovometer into my heart..
Or even place a stethoscope near on my chest…
Or simply put your hand on my chest..
Just so you can feel me..
Know me..
Gage my love..
So you can know how you make me burn..
How my heart aches and breaks when I can’t have you..
So that you know when I tell you I miss you, I need you.. I want you..
What I really mean is I can’t survive without you..
My life is dark with no colors without you..
Know that i’m asking you to show me you need me as much as I do you..
Begging you to give me my heart back..
Because it hurts so bad to have this empty space where it should be..

Don’t Tame Me..

tame

 

They see me roar..
They wonder why I soar..
They wonder why I am..
The way that I am..
They question why I live the way I do..
They marvel at my every move..
They look at my being..
My wild hair..
My passionate personality..
My outrageous clothes..
The unexpected actions..
They see my free spirit parading..
The animal within displayed..
I tell them don’t judge me..
Don’t try to change me..
Don’t try to tame me..
I’m a lost cause..
Either fly with me..
Or watch me rise..

Mine..

How I wish to feel your callused hands caressing my soft skin..
Your tongue on my tongue, my neck, my nipple, my entire body..
To breathe the same air as you when you loom above me..
Close enough to ravish my mouth yet so far away..
To feel shivers move down my spine as you growl dirty,sweet nothings in my ear..
To feel the weight of your body as you lower onto me pressing me into the mattress..
The pleasure, pain of being connected to every part of you..
To hear the breathless grunts of you racing to the edge..
The slap of skin against skin in the quietened room..
To bear the ecstasy of going over the edge with you..
Oh love, how I wish you were mine..

Note: My awesome followers i just want to apologize for going AWOL on you all for the last few months. I had some pretty hectic family stuff to deal with but now I am back and i promise i’m back to stay. Thank you for continuing to support me and enjoy my creations. I love you all.

I Want To Live…

I’m so sick and tired..

Sick and tired of existing…
I want to live..
Not just exist..
Drifting in and out of days..
Doing whats expected of me..
School, University, Work, Marriage, Kids..
Until one day I finally die..
I feel drained, hollow, devoid of meaning..
I walk and travel the long road..
I fly, swim, drive, paddle..
Searching, aching for a path to take..
Searching for a purpose..
Searching for happiness..Not just contentment..
I want to run far from home and get lost in the wilderness..
I want to jump into the darkness and face the demons..
I want to dive into the ocean and discover the unimaginable..
I want to lose myself in life.. get drunk off her tits..
I want to feel alive..
I mean really live… Not just exist..
Image

Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..
I’m in a constant fog..
Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..
You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..
Fueling my frantic need for you..
My dependency of you is an ache..
An ache which morphs into a physical pain..
When i’m away from you I can not bare it..
You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..
My core drilled and etched away..
You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..
You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..
Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..
Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..
A feeling of deep and utter loss..
Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..
And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 

gal

I Long For You..

We used to have everything..
I your Cinderella..
You my Prince Charming..

Oh mi amor..

Laying under the night sky..
Counting stars and making love..

Mi corazon…

Embracing blissfully and talking till the sun comes out..
Walking hand in hand and kissing on the streets..

Oh il mio angelo…

Living in our own beautiful, magical world..
Whispering “I love yous”..

My Darling…

Wherever you are..
Dream a little dream of me..
As my mind and heart lingers on you..
Sweet dreams with bitter longings haunt me..

Mon cher…

In a world with out you I am lost..
I wish to feel you with me, on me, around me..

dream

Tainted..

girl

My mind is a torturous hole
Never leaving me on my own
Forever insisting on ripping my soul apart
Always pondering though out scenario or another
One “what if” or the other
One painful memory or another
I am eternally sucked into my abyss of a brain
Leaving my spirit stained with blotches of sadness
How am I ever to survive..

To be…Or Not To Be..

My life..
My love..
My only one..
Or so i thought..
You, my dream,my fantasy..
No longer my reality..
My source of light,of joy, of love, of all things wonderful..
Now my cause for pain, for heartache, for pure torture..
You, who captured my soul, my heart in beautiful rose nets..

Now leaves me captured in torment, in black vines of death..
With no hope, no faith of survival..
I crave for your adoration, your touch, your voice..
Because you are mine no more..
I long for your memories to leave me..
Night in and day out your face haunts my existence..

lost

Angel You Seek

So pure she breathes..
Her chest moving up and down she turns
Making my heart skip a beat she yawn
I caress her silky cheek
With the back of my fingers i feel her warmth
A jolt moves through me as I look down at her small enchanting face
I lean in close, a yearning to fill my lungs with her heavenly scent controlling me
As i inhale deeply I feel my heart jumping for joy then tumbling down with an ache
I knew she would smell sweet but not this sugary, this addictive, this rich
Like a summer breeze she smells, like beautiful roses, like fresh air, like life itsself
I can feel her fidgeting, getting ready to wake up
But my complete, unadulterated hunger for her freezes me on my spot
I want to embrace her and never let go
Love her so much that she will never cry again
Protect her and hold her tight to my chest so I can feel every beat her heart makes
To taste her soft pink lips

Make love to her all night long and make her every fantasy come alive
But I am bound by the laws of our nature not to touch her
Not to openly and completely love her

To bury my feelings deep with in and watch her live her life
For her to never know I exist
She opens her eyes slowly, gazing around her room
For a moment locking her eyes with me as if she sees me sitting across from her
Then slowly looking away and switching on her bedside lamp
She then wraps her delicate, lovely hands around herself, for a moment touching her cheek
Feeling where I just touched her
With a fire for burning deep with in me i watch her longingly
I knew she could feel my presence, she always could
Yes my love, with my life I shall protect you and keep you safe
Till the day I die I shall watch over you

For that is my job as your guardian angel
And maybe, just maybe
One day I shall be granted the greatest gift of all, my greatest wish
For us to finally be together mind, body and soul
That shall be the day I finally start living..

dean

Naked Poetry..

Naked….
I lie here yours for the taking…
Bare…
I lay it all out..
Exposed..
Explore as I know you desire..
Uncovered..
You leave scars on my soul..
Stripped…
You hackle away into oblivion..
Empty…
I no longer crave to subsist…
Vacant..
Eyes lost in a planet of no hope…