Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..

I’m in a constant fog..

Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..

You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..

Fueling my frantic need for you..

My dependency of you is an ache..

An ache which morphs into a physical pain..

When i’m away from you I can not bare it..

You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..

My core drilled and etched away..

You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..

You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..

Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..

Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..

A feeling of deep and utter loss..

Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..

And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 

I Long For You..

We used to have everything..
I your Cinderella..
You my Prince Charming..

Oh mi amor..

Laying under the night sky..
Counting stars and making love..

Mi corazon…

Embracing blissfully and talking till the sun comes out..
Walking hand in hand and kissing on the streets..

Oh il mio angelo…

Living in our own beautiful, magical world..
Whispering “I love yous”..

My Darling…

Wherever you are..
Dream a little dream of me..
As my mind and heart lingers on you..
Sweet dreams with bitter longings haunt me..

Mon cher…

In a world with out you I am lost..
I wish to feel you with me, on me, around me..

Tainted..

My mind is a torturous hole
Never leaving me on my own
Forever insisting on ripping my soul apart
Always pondering though out scenario or another
One “what if” or the other
One painful memory or another
I am eternally sucked into my abyss of a brain
Leaving my spirit stained with blotches of sadness
How am I ever to survive..

To be…Or Not To Be..

My life..
My love..
My only one..
Or so i thought..
You, my dream,my fantasy..
No longer my reality..
My source of light,of joy, of love, of all things wonderful..
Now my cause for pain, for heartache, for pure torture..
You, who captured my soul, my heart in beautiful rose nets..
Now leaves me captured in torment, in black vines of death..
With no hope, no faith of survival..
I crave for your adoration, your touch, your voice..
Because you are mine no more..
I long for your memories to leave me..
Night in and day out your face haunts my existence..

Angel You Seek

So pure she breathes..
Her chest moving up and down she turns
Making my heart skip a beat she yawn
I caress her silky cheek
With the back of my fingers i feel her warmth
A jolt moves through me as I look down at her small enchanting face
I lean in close, a yearning to fill my lungs with her heavenly scent controlling me
As i inhale deeply I feel my heart jumping for joy then tumbling down with an ache
I knew she would smell sweet but not this sugary, this addictive, this rich
Like a summer breeze she smells, like beautiful roses, like fresh air, like life itsself
I can feel her fidgeting, getting ready to wake up
But my complete, unadulterated hunger for her freezes me on my spot
I want to embrace her and never let go
Love her so much that she will never cry again
Protect her and hold her tight to my chest so I can feel every beat her heart makes
To taste her soft pink lips
Make love to her all night long and make her every fantasy come alive
But I am bound by the laws of our nature not to touch her
Not to openly and completely love her
To bury my feelings deep with in and watch her live her life
For her to never know I exist
She opens her eyes slowly, gazing around her room
For a moment locking her eyes with me as if she sees me sitting across from her
Then slowly looking away and switching on her bedside lamp
She then wraps her delicate, lovely hands around herself, for a moment touching her cheek
Feeling where I just touched her
With a fire for burning deep with in me i watch her longingly
I knew she could feel my presence, she always could
Yes my love, with my life I shall protect you and keep you safe
Till the day I die I shall watch over you
For that is my job as your guardian angel
And maybe, just maybe
One day I shall be granted the greatest gift of all, my greatest wish
For us to finally be together mind, body and soul
That shall be the day I finally start living..

Naked Poetry..

Naked….

I lie here yours for the taking…

Bare…

I lay it all out..

Exposed..

Explore as I know you desire..

Uncovered..

You leave scars on my soul..

Stripped…

You hackle away into oblivion..

Empty…

I no longer crave to subsist…

Vacant..

Eyes lost in a planet of no hope…

Flamming Out..

 

 

Could it be our love is fading..

With every action we take..

We grow further apart..

The glow gets darker by the second..

Leaving it only a flicker of light..

A flicker of hope..

A flicker of memories..

Forever lost in this damned darkness..

Girl In The Mirror

Look into my eyes

Do you see what i see

Do you see the torment

Your glimpse is so hypnotic I ache for you

Felling a dark twinge deep inside me

Completely mystified I turn away

Not being courageous enough to gaze into those cold eyes

Unbearably soul less, they suck me in

Filling me wholly and utterly with agony

Becoming one with those eyes i no longer exist

No longer know the difference

Are you me..

 Am I you….

Am I hallucinating….

Will I ever know…

Unanswered…

You lay me across your chest

Sated and deliciously exhausted we cling to each other

I play with your chest hair between my fingers

For the thousandth time admiring how ruggedly manly you are

“ Will you stay with me forever?” I question idly

” Darling some questions are better unanswered“

In a husky and lazy voice you answered, planting a kiss on my head

Jerking my head up i stare into your dark sexy eyes

Yearning and longing to excavate the thoughts in your beautiful head

Yet getting lost and distracted by my sudden surge of desire for you

There is nothing sexier than a man’s sleepy eyes

“Sleep, you seem delightfully drained“

You purred with a feral half smile as you lay my head on your masculine chest

My chest tightened , my heart was straining with my love for you

Why does this feel like you are saying goodbye

I wondered as i drifted off to sleep..

I Can’t Make You Love Me…

The following poem was inspired by a beautiful, yet very sad song that i have loved for years..

The lights dim and i see you in my dreams

I’m saving my love for you

But you are loving another

My heart throbs as i watch you with her

You hold her so tenderly

You kiss her so passionately

You walk hand in hand and my world crumbles

I cant get no satisfaction

All night long i wish and pray

But I cant make you love me

Love hurts love destroys

Love leaves me lifeless

Love disappears

But my love for you wont fade away

This is the song that inspired me to write this poem.. hope you like both the song and the poem..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW9Cu6GYqxo