Toxic Angst..

You are a stiff drug for me..
Toxic and acidic to my heart

Devouring me up from the inside out..

I’m in a constant fog..

Trying but failing desperately to remember my life before you..

You blind me from seeing the rest of the world..

Fueling my frantic need for you..

My dependency of you is an ache..

An ache which morphs into a physical pain..

When i’m away from you I can not bare it..

You open my rib cage and leave my soul exposed..

My core drilled and etched away..

You are my needle, my anxiety, my morphine..

You unnaturally enjoys my suffering..

Watching me sadistically and giving me a wicked smile..

Your distance brings about a state of confusion, perplexity, mystery..

A feeling of deep and utter loss..

Feelings of bereavement bring about withdrawal symptoms..

And I have no way of preventing this angst.. 

Bewitched..

Compelled by his love ..

Right from the start he was a thief..
Caught me unawares..
Stole my love..

Mind, body and soul, i’m captured..

Enchanted by a man so powerful..

Holding me so close i feel him within me..

My senses assaulted by his caress..

By his mesmerizing voice..

By his captivating eyes..

By his intoxicating scent..

Goodness me..

How do I escape from his web..

 

I Long For You..

We used to have everything..
I your Cinderella..
You my Prince Charming..

Oh mi amor..

Laying under the night sky..
Counting stars and making love..

Mi corazon…

Embracing blissfully and talking till the sun comes out..
Walking hand in hand and kissing on the streets..

Oh il mio angelo…

Living in our own beautiful, magical world..
Whispering “I love yous”..

My Darling…

Wherever you are..
Dream a little dream of me..
As my mind and heart lingers on you..
Sweet dreams with bitter longings haunt me..

Mon cher…

In a world with out you I am lost..
I wish to feel you with me, on me, around me..

Tainted..

My mind is a torturous hole
Never leaving me on my own
Forever insisting on ripping my soul apart
Always pondering though out scenario or another
One “what if” or the other
One painful memory or another
I am eternally sucked into my abyss of a brain
Leaving my spirit stained with blotches of sadness
How am I ever to survive..

To be…Or Not To Be..

My life..
My love..
My only one..
Or so i thought..
You, my dream,my fantasy..
No longer my reality..
My source of light,of joy, of love, of all things wonderful..
Now my cause for pain, for heartache, for pure torture..
You, who captured my soul, my heart in beautiful rose nets..
Now leaves me captured in torment, in black vines of death..
With no hope, no faith of survival..
I crave for your adoration, your touch, your voice..
Because you are mine no more..
I long for your memories to leave me..
Night in and day out your face haunts my existence..

Angel You Seek

So pure she breathes..
Her chest moving up and down she turns
Making my heart skip a beat she yawn
I caress her silky cheek
With the back of my fingers i feel her warmth
A jolt moves through me as I look down at her small enchanting face
I lean in close, a yearning to fill my lungs with her heavenly scent controlling me
As i inhale deeply I feel my heart jumping for joy then tumbling down with an ache
I knew she would smell sweet but not this sugary, this addictive, this rich
Like a summer breeze she smells, like beautiful roses, like fresh air, like life itsself
I can feel her fidgeting, getting ready to wake up
But my complete, unadulterated hunger for her freezes me on my spot
I want to embrace her and never let go
Love her so much that she will never cry again
Protect her and hold her tight to my chest so I can feel every beat her heart makes
To taste her soft pink lips
Make love to her all night long and make her every fantasy come alive
But I am bound by the laws of our nature not to touch her
Not to openly and completely love her
To bury my feelings deep with in and watch her live her life
For her to never know I exist
She opens her eyes slowly, gazing around her room
For a moment locking her eyes with me as if she sees me sitting across from her
Then slowly looking away and switching on her bedside lamp
She then wraps her delicate, lovely hands around herself, for a moment touching her cheek
Feeling where I just touched her
With a fire for burning deep with in me i watch her longingly
I knew she could feel my presence, she always could
Yes my love, with my life I shall protect you and keep you safe
Till the day I die I shall watch over you
For that is my job as your guardian angel
And maybe, just maybe
One day I shall be granted the greatest gift of all, my greatest wish
For us to finally be together mind, body and soul
That shall be the day I finally start living..

My Birthday In Nigh!

Time..Flows swiftly..
Sometimes slowly..
Passing me by..
Stringing me along..
pushing me through the gates..
Is it a lowly day..
Is it a decade..
My soul feels awfully glum..
Am i alone..
For i feel deserted, secluded, desolate..
Oh how i have grown to loathe this day..
This epoch that i was born on..

My birthday is tomorrow and i’m a continent away from my familia, so i’m kind of feel extra lonely this year..

Weak On Your Knees

Weak on your knees
Dripping syrup on your body
Slipping an ice cube down your back
Brushing feathers down your tummy
Feeding kisses to your sensitive silky skin
Breathing in your heavenly scent by your neck
Whispering wicked nothings in your ear
Hot and cold
Soft and hard
Slow and fast
Smooth and rough
I’ll have you following me into the gates of hell
Have you breathing wild and rapid
Have you weak in the knees
I’m right here to take care of you
Whenever you desire it you shall get it
However you want it i shall give it
What ever you offer i will drink it up till the last drop
Until the day i die i shall make it my life’s mission
Wishing that one day our souls shall intertwine
Longing to be one with you
Hoping I can have you for a lifetime
Yet knowing you barely exist..

He Breathes..

He breathes..

Taking in the cool night breeze..

Occasionally  giving me a glance..

Distant, unattached, uninvolved..

Distracted by the pretty damsels..

Dancing around..

Carefree in their flimsy summer dresses..

He breathes..

Occasionally drizzling me with attention..

Spraying me with affection..

Continuously ignoring my longing..

He drinks me up and sucks me dry..

Then spits me out and stomps on me..

Before taking his leave..

All that’s left is a whisper of me..

Dislodged..

Frayed..

Naked Poetry..

Naked….

I lie here yours for the taking…

Bare…

I lay it all out..

Exposed..

Explore as I know you desire..

Uncovered..

You leave scars on my soul..

Stripped…

You hackle away into oblivion..

Empty…

I no longer crave to subsist…

Vacant..

Eyes lost in a planet of no hope…