Drowning In Your Absence..

When everything you have goes away

And you realise that nothing means a thing
And everyone around you seems to change
My heart pounds like a drum when you are near
Now that I am 1, i can burn again
It is the silence of your non existence bringing me fears
My insides overflow with sensations of emptiness
Yet i feel filled with gut wrenching gloom
I am eternally drowning with no hope of getting saved
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39 thoughts on “Drowning In Your Absence..

  1. Babygirl, is this a general poem or personal? It is very well written :) and twists the knife of emotion in one’s gut!! Good job but I hope it is one of your poems written about someone else!! Love and hugs, mom

    • Hi dear mom, unfortunately this one is personal, i am going through something very emotional and uncontrollable right now.. but i can see a dim light somewhere far away.. thanks for coming by.. :-).. xo

      • Gosh darn it, hunny, I had a feeling it was :( when you are ready to talk about it, you know that I’m here for you! ‘Til then, sending you all my love and a MEGA HUG!!

    • i think in my situation, unfortunately absence is making my heart grow fonder, that is the cause of my drowning in his absence.. :-( Thank you for coming by as usual Mike!! :-)

  2. Hi Abi! As if your poem wasn’t strong enough, I couldn’t help but tear up reading your comments. i will learn NOT TO READ THE COMMENTS! :)

    You seem so intelligent and full of emotion. You, just like your mother, know who you are and where you have been. It takes some people their whole life to figure this out. Some never do. I just met your mother, and I will say you both have come a long way. Your new life is starting now and I pray you find the peace in your heart to embrace it, and enjoy it. Growing up can be so hard! I was just discussing this with someone on my site today. I wish I could have expressed my feelings as clearly as you when I was in my younger days. I bottled a lot of it up, and then I had to deal with it later. But I did deal with it, and I thankfully was able to move forward.

    Pain is real. I have lost more loved ones that imaginable throughout my life and although my heart broke and I never forgot about them, it wasn’t until my husband was killed, that I knew what real pain was. I definitely believe you are healing, it is obvious in your writing. I am not sure if some of us ever wake up feeling completely healed, since we all have our good days and bad days. I think for those of us who have suffered massive loss, we heal by learning how to cope and finding new things that allow us to help others and breathe again. You may relate to some things I wrote in my article http://pullingitupbythebootstraps.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/a-message-for-all-widows-need-your-help/ Even though the widow part does not fit you, the emotions are the same. On the site, you will find another article about underage drinking. Again, it is the emotional side of it, that may offer you some comfort. I have several articles on dealing with pain. I would love to know what you think and if it helps you or not. Since it is my mission to help others, I really do need honest feedback.

    Although losing someone we care about truly hurts, ALWAYS remember, “Don’t ever let anyone steal your joy.” My boss made us say this everyday and write it on a mirror, for months. Sometimes, we wanted to kick him, but he was right. (If you never remember anything else, I hope you will always remind yourself of this and teach it to others.)

    I am not saying this about you, just people in general, I had to learn it to…Some people have a hard time with the happiness line. We have to find what makes us happy and then, when we are in a relationship, we allow that person to only add to our happiness, not be our happiness, or take away from it. We cannot ever let a partner determine our happiness. It must come from within, to truly be happy.

    You are a beautiful person. It shows in your heart, through your writing. God Bless You Abi. I hope to hear from you and I will be exploring the rest of your site. I love it! Thanks for sharing with us. I know this can be hard sometimes.

    • wooww!! thank you so much, it made me smile when i saw you saying you will learn to not read comments! :-) but i appreciate everyone’s concern and comments and i always thought im not sure who i am, but having this blog has shown me that i do know who i am, i have been lucky enough to manage to find myself at such a young age.. heart ache is teaching me a lot about myself. i will make sure to check out your articles and put in my thoughts. :-)

  3. i feel this once connected to gut wrenching ache :)
    it’s cool how u keep ur lines short and simple and connected :)
    let me take a look at another post :)
    u have seen only 2 posts from my blog and went to sleep or what :D?
    hehehehe :D

    • hahaha.. my internet is pretty crappy, it takes so long to load, but i will go through your blog when i can.. :-) and i love how your comments always come with so many smiles, it makes me smile.. :-D

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